Wheeling Jesuit University/Buildings/Uncle Tom's Federally Funded Bullshit Project
The US Senate had a farm,
E-I-E-I-O
And on this farm they had some 'PORK'
E-I-E-I-O
A little cash here,
A tax grant there,
Federal dollars, federal dollars everywhere!
The US Senate had a farm,
E-I-E-I-O
History[edit | edit source]
Uncle Tom's Federally Funded Bullshit Project (or the Ntchll Tom's Tyskrasus Chasij, as it is known in the Cissegaran tongue, thus abbreviated NTTC) was founded by the Immortal Jesuit Emperor Fed Acker Huang with the help of the alien race, the Cissegarans, as a way to increase the efficiency of the tax system. It was well-suited to its use as a palace- its hill-top location was an extremely defensible position. However, this was inadequate protection against the tide of history, which favoured the Sodex-Horde under Dschinghis Khan. It was then used as the palace of the Governer-General who served Robert Byrd, and represented Byrd's interests to the ruling Junta of the 20th of September. After the over-throw of the Junta in early 2005, the Governer-General was recalled. The rest of the Byrdian army was defeated by the Austrian School of Economics.
Description[edit | edit source]
The NTTC is a confused post-modern structure that has re-invented itself several times. Though it has failed to keep a consistent function, it has consumed a great deal of money. With its vast expenditure of other people's money and constant re-invention, it can successfully be likened to a teen-ager.
Saucy Bits of History[edit | edit source]
It was claimed that in the days of Fed Acker Huang that men and birds mated and produced freeze-dried offspring called Axolotls. Many saucy limericks were produced by poet-laureate WJU's Own Tom in commemoration of these events, such as "There once was a bird from Nantucket".
However, this phase thankfully ended with the intervention of Pope Julius II.
Present Function[edit | edit source]
The purpose of the NTTC, as far as it can be ascertained, is to manufacture "Robert C. Byrd" signs for all buildings in the state. In addition, the Building apparently provides warmth to the campus of Wheeling Jesuit University by burning federal tax dollars along with the Center for Evil Technology.