Michael Willis
“As abusive as a Catholic Priest, I tell ye!”
“Whatchoo talkin' 'bout, Willis?!”
Michael 'Skippy' Willis (also known as Kaiser Wilhelm II) is an infamous boxer, supporter of David Milliband's undeniable cuteness, queer, propiortor of a bald head,supporter of books, except his own books, and, of course, excellent computer technician with some of the best pen poking skills in the business. He has, on occasion, become infamous for his newspaper-throwing techniques and, due to his usage of the words, is believed to have coined the terms, 'Now look!' and 'This is simply not on!'.
Humble Beginnings[edit | edit source]
Starting life as a mole Michael left the ground to become acquainted with Oscar Wilde in 1632. The relationship, reported in the Daily Telegraph as 'substantial to qualify for homoseuxal connotations', blossomed and, as many analysts acknowledge, this is the time Michael adopted a 'soft approach', as explained in his autobiography ('Get out of the cupboard in H4; it is an old joke.' ISBN 10374927129), to members of the same sex. Michael graduated from Oscar Wilde's private 'academic' university in 1680 with a tough, and 'go-get-em', attitude - perhaps induced by his homosexual affairs with Philosopholis Thompson. Willis has since starred in various gay porn films.
Mick the 'Skip' Willis[edit | edit source]
Michael was confident for a career in academia and teaching. However, no school would accept him. After his thirteenth denial from a school, due to lack of any politics degree, Willis simply lost it and brutally murdered the Headmistress using his head butt, accentuated by his stiff, sharp hair.
In utter fear Michael ran yet tripped up on the way out developing a weak leg; so weak that, indeed, he walked with a limp akin to a skip.
Several barcardi shots later and several thousand kilometers on Michael Willis made it to the safe-haven of Texas; the homosexual safety net of the Free World. When people found out he once dated a woman (later described as a 'moment of madness'), a local crime in Texas, he encountered many local bouts which the 'Skipping fellow', as the GayPride Texas Times put it, won. He soon became known as Mick the 'Skip' Willis, and went on to win several bouts in his early career. In some circles he became known as 'Knuckles'.
Michael soon found the sky was the limit and fought, and won, the World Heavyweight Championship. In a later interview he was asked what he planned to do next. When he explained his primary interest was that of young boys he was advised to join a nearby school.
Michael was admitted into Brentwood School in 1746 and remains there today, even hibernating in the H4 cupboard.
Cocaine addiction, Lord of the Rings and Later Career[edit | edit source]
Michael Willis, like may ex-sporting athletes, entered a period of demise which culminated in 2004 when he entered a Hollywood based rehab clinic.
Since cured Michael Willis has pursued an acting career, especially as a voice-over. Although usually filling the role of a 'token-homosexual', Michael has taken on more challenging roles, such as Gollum in recent Lord of the Ring's films. Upon hearing his recital of 'Miiiiiiiy preeesshhciousss' at rehearsals the director was stunned. Michael Willis was in.
However, Michael was heavily criticised for his 'Gollum; The Chav Years' where he tried to have the character move 'down with the kids'. In line with his dress style on non-uniform day Michael adopted a lassiez-faire attitude to the clothing of his character. Indeed, he fitted him with one item only - a Burberry cap.
Such led to his acting downfall and Michael Willis has since returned to teaching where we love him really.
Filmography[edit | edit source]
- Easy Rider 1969; Starring as both the Easy, and the Rider.
- Brokeback Mountain 2005; Starring as the 'Honestly, I'm All Man' Cowboy.