Martin McGuinness
“Fecker.”
“Man, you are a spaz! That's why your dead, cause I Kill You!”
James Martin Pacelli McGuinness (Irish: Testicles; born Derry, 23 May 1950, died Derry , 21 March 2017) was an Fenian bastard Sinn Féin politician and was the deputy First Minister of Northern Ireland.
McGuinness came to prominence following his marriage to Adolf Hitler. At first Martin found it difficult to cope under the intense media glare that surrounded him as the spouse of Pedaphile Garyson, but he later used it to promote his interests, which included: hair curling; acting like a gay man, and looking at people (Illegal Drug addicted Mexicans) going on trips to the USA for free.
Biography[edit | edit source]
Martin began life as a prostitute who was on heroin in 1888, when he tried to get laid in County Meath, Ireland. During the late 1800's there was a great deal of discrimination against sueing Prostitutes and aliens. He travelled to Belfast to visit the infamous Banshee (WTF IS A BANSHEE?!) Lady GaGa, who told him he needed to acquire (gay) magic powers and this could be done by wearing her lucky charms. Which were moldy as hell. She was only willing to let Martin wear the charms if he married her and moved to Dublin, where she wished to pursue a career as a traffic light. Why? Because she was sick of getting arrested for being a prostitude for cying out loud! Being a complete quer, Martin was repulsed by the Banshee but desperate for the lucky charms so he beat her unconscious with his leprechaun pipe and stole them.
With his new lease of life as a human Martin embarked on various unsuccessful ventures until he invented hair curlers and became very rich, and the original Justin Beiber. You know, gay as hell? In 1977 while testing his new bombs at a conference in New York, Martin met the most famous policeman and British secret agent Spongebob Squarepants. The two immediately faught untill the policeman had put him in handcuffs and arrested him for terrorism.
Martin can often be seen these days out and about attempting to stalk people like a gay ass creep he is. He has also had his picture taken with several famous terrorists, including George Bush and Justin Beiber, evidence of this can be seen beside this Article.