Low quality 80s middle school science video
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In very poorly stylized Impact font, the following words appear on the screen.
LOW QUALITY 80S MIDDLE SCHOOL SCIENCE VIDEO
Then after thirty seconds of people running to music that's done with a terrible synthesizer and drum machine...
©1986
[Black out]
[Slow Vangelis-esque music is heard while the screen is black.]
[Fade back in after thirty seconds.]
"Hello, I'm Carl Sagan. Today I am going to talk to you about..."
[Static]
[Static]
[We can see Carl talking again but we can barely hear him due to the fact that the track is now in sub-par analogue instead of stereo or even on-par analogue.]
[Static]
...
[Re-track; Carl is now seen sitting in a boring meeting. Although the sound is missing, it is safe to assume that he is breaking the fourth wall.]
[Static]
[Black screen]
...
[Buzzing]
...
[Static]
[Static]
...
...
[Static]
...
...
...
[We now see footage that has been taped over by a video of Kenny Loggins singing.]
...
[Something that is unrelated but looks science-y; a man doing something with water.]
[Static]
[Buzzing]
[Buzzing]
[Buzzing]
...
"And that, people, is the scientific reason why every American student is forced to watch at least one science VHS that is static-y, badly made and is impossible to hear while they're in middle school. I hope you learned a lot. Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to get a plucking now."
