Lol-iday
Lol-iday is a now defunct national holiday of Italy.
- First proclaimed by Caesar on September 30, 1677.
- Last held on September 30, 1679.
- Not invented by Al Gore.
History[edit | edit source]
The tradition of Lol-iday started in archaic times under the rule of Julius Caesar (JC). Around the month of September many of the lollies made by the bush people of the Umpalepuay mountain were going to waste and so a national holiday was created so that there was a day for all of these wasted lollies to be eaten. This went fine until a certain tragic day. The Umpalepuay people had started to notice that JC had started to sell these lollies for a profit instead of giving them away as agreed. That night an army of cheese heads stormed JC`s palace and entered his chamber. Unfortunately they had gotten lost and actually invaded The Casino AL`s Palace in Las Angeles. The army was executed and the rest of the cheese heads were forced into pissing up flag poles. The holiday was henceforth glossed over and no-one talked of the event loudly ever again.
This story has been put to music on the album Canadian Idiot by multi-platinum selling alternative-punk group Green Day.
Lyrics to 'Lol-iday' by Green Day[edit | edit source]
Hear the sound of the candy boil As for us, the Umpalepuay toil The shame, these lollies are starting to spoil Hear the cry of the Umpalepuay "Let's go visit our Caesar today So he can give these fine lollies away" I declare that these lollies won't go to waste So I shall create, with great haste The Lol-iday Hear the sound of the treasury? Caesar's selling our fine, rural made candy We fight, which means we get the Umpalepuanian army They went and stormed the palace (palace!) But for some strange reason they ended up in Las Vegas (Hey!) A bus, they were squashed by the Casino bus I declare that the Umpalepuanians will not be saved For all eternity, you shall be enslaved On Lol-iday "The representative from Umpalepuay has the floor" Zeig heil to the president Caesar Slavery is your punishment Pulverize our candy machines Which funded your revenue stream Bang bang, goes the broken gob-stopper Made by the Umpalepuay You tricked us behind our back Just to fund your kitten huffing way Just cause, just cause, because we lost our way... I declare that the Umpalepuanians fall from grace And the need to save my own face, that "This is the end of Lol-iday"
See Also[edit | edit source]