Klay World
“It’s like a clay heaven.”
“I live here, dammit.”
“Ah, forgot about my Spaghettios!”
Alas, the great Klay World is a sudden new universe created in around 2000. What possible things might you explore in this death-defying place? It all began when Jesus and Satan were having a rock-paper-scissors battle to see who can create a new universe or who can destroy a world. Apparently, Jesus won the game, and thus created a unique world with these unique inhabitants that differ from humans. This world started with a great evolutionary scale from simple clay to Klayman.
Evolution of Klay World's inhabitants[edit | edit source]
Because Klay World is a giant rectangular table with interesting "geographic" features, we want to give you the relevant detail about the inhabitants of Klay World:
- Simple Klay—just clay in any random color that resembles a puddle.
- Newborn Klay—clay that evolved from a simple clay inhabitant that resembles a freeform shape and can imitate simple Klay.
- Small Klay—clay that just emerged two legs, is midget-sized, and can jump.
- Medium Klay—clay that emerged two more legs, which means it has four legs now.
- Big Klay—clay that has lost its back legs, increased its size, and has primitive aspects.
- Klayman—the final stage of Klay evolution—talks, eats, jumps, bleeds, and does anything.
Geography[edit | edit source]
- No info needed. It's just a big table with ... a computer and ... stuff.
- There's also "Not Really Klay World", but nobody cares about that.
Life in Klay World[edit | edit source]
Although we've discussed the meaning of simple Klay to Klayman, let's check out our gallery of the different Klaymen, which inhabited here, dicking around.
A Klayman wanting to commit suicide because of a disgusting hotdog
A Klayman chokes on his own baloney.
The first Klayman to die in Klay World by trying to pick up a hotdog from the table
The population starts declining when a Klayman dies from trying to eat salad trap.
The edge of Klay World's national border. Apparently, this has a lifetime supply of pancakes (a.k.a. land mines).
The Dilly Dally Ghost shoots himself.
Two weird-looking Klaymen stand next to each other and proceed to do literally nothing.
The same Klayman who wants to kill himself because of the hotdog then points to the edge of Klay World, asking to jump off.
Klay World today[edit | edit source]
From our humble beginnings at Klay World, Klay World has a present and a future generation. What we have shown you was a gallery of the inhabitants of Klay World from 2004 to 2008. However, Klay World today is a really busy year (2009), and lots of viewers are asking, "Will we see more Klay action this year?" Probably not. Moreover, Klay World is in an environmental violation knowing for that Grues immigrated here and the demonic spirit of Gumby has possessed the core computer, which controls the geography, the population, and the science of Klay World. Klay world has no intelligence whatsoever and is very AWWWWEEEESSSOOOMMMMEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! IT IS VERY FUNNY AND UNPREDICTABLE AND VERY VERY WEIRD!!!
Where do Klaymen come from?[edit | edit source]
Because there is about 1/12 (8.333%) of females in Klay World, several people ask, "Where do Klaymen come from?" Personally, this answer is not to be shown on the big picture. That is, until we actually see a subpornographic view of two Klaymen humping to make a new Klayman. We cannot give you the answer to all viewers, including yourself. Klay men are super hilarious unpredictable and stupid.
The Core Computer[edit | edit source]
Because we've mentioned The Core Computer, we are going to tell you this interesting feature of Klay World. The Core Computer is a big computer, accompanied with a computer tower, which controls Klay World and all of its geography. In the future, the Core Computer, introduced to Klay World in 2000, The Core Computer developed a security mechanism that views and records all of the actions in Klay World currently. Unfortunately, The Core Computer is possessed by an evil clay spirit named, "Gumby". As we all know who the fuck Gumby is, he is a mockery of Klaymen since the 1930s or the 1950s, before Klay World was created. His twin partner, Pokey, also joined in with the apocalypse, knowing for that both of them are dead.
Robert and "Not Really Klay World"[edit | edit source]
Robert, who we surprisingly haven't brought up yet, is the inhabitant of Klay World who lives in the part Klaymen call "Not Really Klay World". Klay World is actually a small part of Robert's residence, and Robert himself is just a human, nothing special there. He can usually be seen with a giant camera, filming whatever the Klaymen end up doing, and some consider him a nature documenter, despite the fact Klay World is in a house. He is sometimes seen eating Spaghettios, as it makes up most of his diet, and doing whatever weird things "Not Really Klay World" has to offer. Robert says he knows where Klaymen come from, but he won't tell us because he "wants it to be a surprise".
Will it end?[edit | edit source]
Scientists of Klay World (which are a very few from all Klaymen) hypothesize that Klay World would end by a big papier mâché meteorite, which crashes onto Klay World, leaving all Klaymen left for dead. The real story is that Klay World would end by the evil spirit Gumby reigning for at least 100 years, maybe 1000, which sets the entire table of Klay World on fire, killing all Klaymen at once. Some may live, unfortunately. As for Robert, I don't know, maybe he'll finally tell us where Klaymen come from.