How Do You Solve A Problem Like Thomas Becket

He tries to speak all Latin-y, 'bout second grade he fares King Henry tells him "Kiss my ass," resigned as Chancell-air Who's higher jurisdiction, God or judge with fake white hair? You might forgive us all for being crabby

We hardballed him with Clarendon, we made him take the deal He hates the King for everything, except for every meal I hate to have to say it, but I very firmly feel Tom Becket's not an asset to the Canty

I'd like to say a word in his behalf Tom Becket makes me laugh

How do you solve a problem like Tom Becket? How do you hold a fart when sitting down? How do you find the word that means Tom Becket? A flibbertijibbet! A will-o'-the wisp! A clown!

Many a thing the King would like to tell him Theobald's missed, Tom has no leg to stand But how do you make him pay and listen to all you say How do you turn a foot into a hand?

Oh, how do you solve a problem like Tom Becket? How do you wear a mood ring on your hand?

His authority's abused, out of focus and misused Excommunicated fast-ly, what a sham Reprehensible as leather, say we rope him then we tether He's a monster! He's a demon! He be damned!

He'd out pester any pest, drive a hornet from its nest He could ban you from the abbey for a burp He is mental! He is wild! He's a fiddle! He's too riled! He's a headache! He's Archbishop! He's a jerk!

How do you solve a problem like Tom Becket? How do you drink a soda with no burps? How do you find the word that means Tom Becket? A heretic Bishop! A turbulent priest! A clown!

Many a thing you know you'd like to tell him Many a thing to get him off our land But how does he go away and give our fair King his day How do you cook some ice cream in a pan?

Oh, how do you solve a problem like Tom Becket? Where can I find a sword to fit his back?