Havelock North
| Havelock North | |
 |
|
| The Town Itself | |
|---|---|
| Population: | 100 Yuppies, 8000 Drunks, 2000 Hillbillies, 5 Maori and Your Mom |
| Area: | The size it requires to grow so many grapes |
| Make Up of the Town | |
| Businesses: | Grape Growing, Suicide Jumps |
| Ethnic Groups: | 56% Drunk, 24% Hillbilly, 10% Yuppie, 9% JAFA, Mitchell McLeod, 1% Tourist and 5 Maoris who got lucky at the TAB. |
| Climate: | Warm, Dry, Windy, Like your undies |
| Urban Planning: | Based around a few pods in town center storing alien life forms |
| The Area Around It | |
| District Name: | Haaastings |
Havelock North, (also known as Have-A-Lot) is a town located in Hastings New Zealand where all the rich cunts live. The town is famous for To Mato Peak, the hill Havelock North was build at the bottom off to stop people jumping of its famous cliffs, then Edmund Hillary showed New Zealander's how to climb mountains and people then found out about how to get up there to jump of the side.
History[edit | edit source]
Havelock North was built in several stages, the first part done in the 1950s in a town originally called Mt Suicide because of Te Mata Peak. The next part was done in the 1970s in an addition to Mt Suicide, this town was called Havelock North named after Havelock in the South Island because the town founder mistook the pronunciation as 'Havelcock'. The next part of the town was an extension called Kingsgate built in the late '80s. The last part is still being built called Brooklands and commenced construction in the 2000.
Lifestyle[edit | edit source]
All the inhabitants of Havelock North are so rich that they live on colossal quantities of posh wine, their main diet. People from Havelock North can play at leats 3 different instruments so that they can get totally pissed and then play these instruments badly, scaring people in Hastings and Flaxmere.
The houses in Havelock North are generally surrounded by a moat, drawbridge and a fire breathing dragon in order to stop the people of neighboring Hastings and Flaxmere (mostly Flaxmere) from shopping for outdoor furniture, plants, cars and televisions in which they could trade in for a second house in their own suburbs.
Popular activities by the locals include watering the lawn, sweeping the driveway and ensuring the house is always locked.
Their main rivals are people of Taradale (Napier) who also have a similar lifestyle but have a smaller hill that's the shape of a breast. They normally battle each other to see who is richer and can build the flashest Houses and the most posh New World's in Hawkes Bay.
Havelock North is well known for a having the most reliable water source in the whole of Hawkes Bay. However the majority of Havelock Northians live by purely consuming tea and coffee, so it is wasted on them.
It is also important to note that Havelock North has one of the, if not the most, biggest debt in the country. So even though they have flash houses, cars and drink at cafes all afternoon it usually is on hire purchase or credit cards.
Today[edit | edit source]
Today, the town is famous for being the only place in New Zealand (other than - oh yeah, no, only place) where Yuppies (Rich People), Hillbillies (Natives) and Drunks (Majority ethnic group) all come together. This is represented by the vineyard culture around the area, reflecting the overall Hastings pattern.