George Best

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George Best
No image
Personal info
Nationality UN protected rat/human hybrid
Date of birth One lonely night...
Place of birth Ya mums vag
Date of death n/a
Place of death n/a
First Lady Megaman Manchild
Political career
Order 7
Vice President Ian Paisley
Prime Minister Gerry Adams
Term of office n/an/a
Preceded by n/a
Succeeded by Myley Cyrus
Political party Nazi

Sir George of Best was a leg-end Football player, poet, drunk, shagger and liver stealer who had a beard to rival Chuck Norris and impressed the world with his trademark skills of being able to give women multiple orgasms from 50 yards away and for kicking a ball around on a bit of grass for a shit load of money.

Early Life[edit]

George Best was born the son of Finn McCool who shat out the Giants Causeway to help bring some Scots over to Ireland to beat the shit out of the local population. Once discovering that all Scots are bastards, Sir George promptly shagged the Causeway to death, stopping any more Scots arriving. unfortunately, he then invented football and completely forgot to do anything about the Bastards/Scots already in Ireland. He then proceeded to invent the drum, banner, pipe, and the colour orange. His favorite word was 'shite', which was invented to describe everything other then him.

Football[edit]

Unlike shite Yankie Doodle Hand Egg ( American_Football ), football is focused kicking a ball with your foot, hence the name. George Best was the best at this, hence the name. Unfortunately, even he was not good enough to make the rest of the Norn Iron team any better. (Other than when it came to anything other then fighting and drinking, of course.)

England, Scotland and Beyond[edit]

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For the uncouth among us who choose lies, the self-proclaimed experts at Wikipedia think they have an article about George Best.

After inventing Football and shagging the whole population of Ireland, he travelled to England to point out how they are all ugly, shite at football, have shite accents and to have sex with all their women. While in England, he invented Manchester United and made them the greatest football club in the world. He had skills of such a high calibre that he would be able to get a Frenchman to win a fight. (See Eric Cantona)

Sir George also played for Hibs and some other shite teams but no-one cares about them because they are shite.

Once George had exhausted the female population of the UK, he travelled to America, Africa (The Southern bit) and Australia to point out how they are all ugly, shite at football, have shite accents, to have sex with all their women, and [in the case of the Sceptic Tanks(see American)] that even if they think they can, they can't drink for shite.

Due to being educated in Belfast he could not think of any countries other then the ones starting with the letter A.

Death[edit]

Once he had ran out of English speaking women to have sex with, he prominently drank himself to death.


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