GPA
“You can't believe how many GPAs I got!”
GPA, short for Gigantic Penis Award, not to be confused with Grade Point Average, which does not have an acronym. The GPA is awarded to dudes(or occasionally women) whose penis is not only long, but also really wide in radius. An annual measurement and cremony is dedicated to the award. Winners will certificates, penis trophies, sex toys and some masturbator cups.
History[edit | edit source]
GPA started in 1784, on nineth of june, when Count Isaac De Snutz was masturbating. Poor man was 50 years old and still didn't get a wife. He figured how everyone's penis is actually in different sizes, when he looked at his homie who was sitting near him. His was much bigger than that of his homie, and they started quarreling on who has a bigger one. Isaac had 17 centimeters while his homie only had 15.6 centimeters. Isaac won and in rememberance of this, the GPA started. Every year on the nineth of june, a measuring ceremony would be conducted on the Virgin Islands, welcoming anyone to join, including those homosexuals and transex.
Records[edit | edit source]
The current record holder is Mr. Dick Cocson in 2009, whom helds a record of 36 centimeters and 3.6 centimeters in diameter. However none of the masturbator cups fit his size, so he asked for and extra gigantic trophy. He still does not have a girlfriend, I wonder why.
Fun Facts[edit | edit source]
1.The GPA is invented on one year before the Grade Points Average, thats why it took the acronym. Sucks to you high schools!
2.Although there are a few transex participants, only one had won. That was Horace Dickinson, who stated that he had a "penis-y" name so he had to try it.
3. A man named Timothy Long has won 13 GPAs in a row, he only stopped because he died from over-ejaculation.
4. The GPA trophy contains more gold, silver and bronze than highest Grade Point Average trophies distributed by schools! They are too poor, naturally.