Flunkyball

FLUNKYBALL!

“Flunkyball, A game of guts, balls and more guts”

~ A really famous person

Flunkyball also known as Bänkeln, Beer Polo, Beer Cricket, Beer Ball, Beer cones, Beer Olympics, Beer Game, Büx Delüxe, Commander, Dosa Fitza, The canned game, Throwing cans, Drot-Zorten, Fickball, Flanks, Flukes, Flankyball, Bottle bowling, Floepsieball, Flunkyball, Flutschi Ball, Hoe Ball, Flitzekacke, Hippie-Ball, Horst-ball, Tankard, Leek and leek, Run-Sauf, The funny beer game, Men's Ball, Nidi's, Cracky, Pilspocke, Plonkaball, Rampyball, Drink-ball, Taste-ball, Stick'n'Combat, International Beer, Viking Chess. Is a team based sport in which a number of competitors combine speed, agility and guts in order to stop the opposing team from "outdrinking them".

Originally invented in 1509 by Henry VIII of England and Maximilian I of Germany (the first competitors of the game) the game has progressed all over the world and is known in many countries in many forms and names. The most commonly used names are Flunkyball (Germany) and Beer Cricket (United Kingdom).

The game itself has recently attracted widespread media attention when numerous celebrity deaths were attributed to the game. The deaths of Amy Winehouse, Michael Jackson, and the Jonas Brothers have all been linked to the game. Currently 1,306,003,998 Deaths are attributed to Flunkyball every year.

World champions

There is currently no official world champion; this is attributed to the fact that the requirements to become world champion involve getting to round 30. The closest person to become Flunkyball World Champion is Professer Stephen Hawking who successfully made it to round 25 in 1964. Whilst participating in round 26 it was found that Stephen's alcohol-to-blood levels were 50mg of alcohol per 100 mg of blood, rendering him half man and half alcohol. Towards the end of round 26 Stephen drank a whole bottle of Jagermeister, which paralysed him from the face downwards and ever since Stephen has been confined to a wheelchair. Over the years doctors have tried reversing the process with Iron Bru drips and KFC but to date this has proven unsuccessful.

“It’s like a permanent hangover for him.”

~ Dr. Gunther von Hagens

When asked in an interview if he regretted his decision to play Flunkyball Stephen replied

“Flunkyball is an art. You have to be strong-willed and you need a stronger stomach. Unfortunately I thought I could beat Flunkyball and as you can see this is the result.”

~ Professor Stephen Hawking on playing Flunkyball

The unofficial world champion is currently the country of Czech Republic based on the fact that Alcohol consumption among adults (age 15+) in litres per capita is 14.97, making every citizen of Czech Republic an alcoholic.

History

The inaugural Flunkyball Weltmeisterschaft recently took place on 2nd September 2011 in Ibiza. It was a fiercely competitive tournament, although rather unsurprisingly "Team Win" consisting of Rachel Irwin, Helen Riley, James Bellew and Pete Jennings emerged victorious. "Team Lose" consisting of Claire Wilson, Heather Findley, SarahRuby Beales and Tony Northmore went home ... with nothing ...

Materials

• 1 empty can
• 1 ball or other projectile (anything to hand is fine)
• At least one can of beer per person

Players

• Unlimted numbers; typically four to six.

Setup

Both groups position themselves at a distance of about five meters (sixteen feet) parallel to the centreline. Each player then receives an open or unopened beer and puts it in front of him.

The first throw is decided by a coin toss between Team A and Team B Captains. Whoever wins the coin toss will be given the ball or other projectile.

Team A and Team B Captains will then return to their teams and prepare to start the game.

The Game Setup can be seen below

A A A A	        (Team A)
f f f f		(Beer)
o               (Ball)

  t             (Empty Can)


f f f f		(Beer)
B B B B	        (Team B)

Gameplay

The first throw will be made by the team captain, he will throw and aim for the empty beer can on the centreline, if he misses Team B captain will retrieve the ball or other projectile.

Team B captain will now throw and aim for the beer can on the centreline, in the event that he hits the can all competitors of Team B will drink from the can that is in front of them. It is then the last member of team A's (in this case Team A Captain) job to run, pick up the fallen can on the centreline and place it back on the centreline in an upright position, he will then run back to his team and the word "STOP" will be shouted. Once the word "STOP" is shouted Team B will immediately stop drinking.

The ball or other projectile will now be passed to the next member of Team A (who stands on the right hand side of the captain.) The next member will throw and hit the can and so Team A drinks whilst team B places the can in the upright position on the centreline. The first team to drink ALL their drinks wins.

For a video of the gameplay please see this link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dZpq5bj5go4

Punishments

• Beer foams over the rim: Get yourself a new (or additional) can.
• Knocking your beer over: Get yourself a new (or additional) can.
• Insulting the referee: Get yourself a new (or additional) can.
• Vomiting: Get yourself a new (or additional) can and prepare to get slapped by all competitors.

or:

• Beer foams over the rim: 1 lap of the game field naked.
• Knocking your beer over: 2 laps of the game field naked or get yourself a new (or additional) can.
• Insulting the referee: disqualification.

Famous flunkyball players

• Stephen Hawking
• Henry VIII
• Gunther Von Hans
• Amy Winehouse
• Sophia Marcotty (Game Master + co)
• Michael Jackson
• Yoram Vermeij
• Rosalie van der Straten
• Bart Bergman
• The Clawshards
• Veni Vidi Napici