F.Y.P

F.Y.P (Fuck You Papa) was the first known punk band, emerging in the early 1890s. Lead singer Todd Congelliere was rumored to actually be an Old Farts Wife, which would somewhat explain his obsession with pointing at penises. Him and a couple of his buddies from F.Y.P and Toys That Kill now laze around Southern California, being almost as gay-positive, feminist and anti-fascist as Propagandhi (though not nearly as vegan).

Alleged future predictions

In the 1990s, almost a century later, F.Y.P garnered some attention in Southern California for having predicted some major events, such as rises in police brutality, television and the accompanying commercials, Frosted Flakes and Air Jordan sneakers. The latter three come from their song “The Fine Print Lied To Me”, in which Todd shouts “The soft caressing voice behind the screen makes me puke/I don’t give a shit if Air Jordan wears your fuckin’ sneakers/and Frosted Flakes aren’t gonna bring out the tiger in me/get kids to memorize, they’re only hypnotized”. For these predictions, they were actually noticed by some losers in San Pedro, who tracked them down and helped the start Recess Records, the greatest music publishing company of all time.

Motives

F.Y.P was motivated in its early days by the lead singer’s love of screaming, fast music and complaining about politics. In later songs they became more mainstream by converting to shouting, average speed music and complaining about girls dumping said lead singer. For example, in their classic hit from their early days, “Allergic to That Dude”, the intelligible lines indicate hatred for someone and pro-abortion viewpoints, whereas in their later song “(She) Belittle(s) My Brain (for fun)” he’s just whining about a girl. In their early music, we hear stuff such as anti-consumerism messages and why Mozart is stupid. In their later stuff all we hear is girl troubles to the tune of good music.

Members

An average F.Y.P performance

Due to the poor quality of documentation from the 1800s, little is known about F.Y.P’s members, other than the following:

1. Lead singer: Todd Congelliere

1. Something else: Sean Cole

1. Best friend who committed suicide: Jed [Last Name Unknown]

Any other information is lost to history, so you can decide which is which.

Discography

• Finish Thine Popped Grain (1892)

• Crap That Is Not Completed (1894)

• Dance With A Fool (1894)

• Bread of Thine Toilet-Child (1896)

• My Male Homo Sapien Doth Be Upset (1897)

• Murderous Playthings (1900)

See also

• Not Slayer
• Nirvana
• Punk rock