HowTo:Write articles while extremely drunk

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“Wha... where da 'ell am I? An' I have nuthin... I don't have nuthin' to dee-clare... a-cept my (burp) a-cept for my genie-eyes!”

~ Oscar Wilde on being drunk
I went to a scho;kl like that, i reallly miss goin there, I miss it bro, hey techer here]s an apple i used to say

Sober is for pussies because writing articles while drunk is a fucking cunt licker of an article because this will probably be NRVified, but only if the NRV-fucker is a total cunt.

wank. but only limeys say that, don't start using that word istz un-American.)[edit | edit source]

if you're drunk, don't fucking write a dman thing, because it'll be fulla tpoys bad grammars and fucking profanity. and i reallyz shoud have eaten something befoehand

counter argument[edit | edit source]

Respect the drunk people, I mean it.

only fucking cunts think profanity is bad. profanity kicks ass. if you don't like it, you're a dumb mormon fuckwit who cries real tears when you hear any bad words. also, obama sucks, change my ass where iz all the channge?huh>. i thought i'd add that, since cheap, basic political commentary is pretty much required by any humor writer. fucking ass cunts. yeah, i made up a new word, ass cunt. well, it's really more of a phrase, but fuck you, and fuck the horse you...hey, just 'membereed, i got 'er phone number 'round here someswhere. wasn't it on a napkin? oh shit, i musthave left it there. damnit.

why you shouldn't write artuckles whjile drunlk[edit | edit source]

you'll make an ass of yourze;f and regert it when you're sober, as i probably will. you'll also use [really bad wiki formatting}}. vodka tastes like shit because Russians suck. anyway, don't write when you're drunk, because you're a slut.

dude, i'd totally fuck that bitch so hard[edit | edit source]

NO! no writing when you're drunk! it makes you say perverted things! T ALSO MAKES YOU WHAT/ HA HA HA IT MAKES YOU HIT THE CAPS LOCK KEY BY ACCIDENT WHEN YOU'RE TRYING TO HIT "I"\.

things that are fun to lick[edit | edit source]

what the hell were you expecting from this section. ice cream cones? pussy ,that's what's fun to lick. there you go. move on, asswipe.

he ha ha ha gwarkk

Show me the way to go home[edit | edit source]

Ize tired an i wanna go to bed

Don't turn that channel, I'm watching that! Bro, I said lelave it there, that was a great moviee one of the bests [w[edit | edit source]

when you're drunk, you might add random unfunny inside jokes to everything. when you're drunk, you think you're "pwning all the readers who don't get it," but when you sober up, you think you're just "o my god looking like a cunt." chucknorriscarwildeuroipodsfuckingkillgeorgebushdoesntcareaboutniggersblackpeople.

ENOUGH FUCKING HEADLINES ALREADY!!! WHY AM I HITTING SHIFT INSTEAD OF JUST PRESSING CAPSLOCK???????????[edit | edit source]

NEIN! the show must go on!

OK, I'm not drunk anymore, I swear.[edit | edit source]

I've sobbred up now dear an now I'M HIGH ON LIFE INSTEAD! WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE! =!!!!!!!!!!!

AAAAAAAAAAnd more, much more than this,[edit | edit source]

i did it myyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy waaaaaaaaaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy

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