David Miscavige
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David Miscavige[edit | edit source]
His Scientologiness Admiral General David Miscavige is God. There is no questioning it. He is a flawless and sinless human being, who is simply incapable of doing wrong. In fact, I heard he once cleared a nest of deathclaws in the south New-Vegas sewer system.
Miscavige was born on Mount Olympus to parents Aphrodite, goddess of beauty, and Tom Cruise. From a young age he expressed sheer excellence in everything. The first time he played golf, he shot 47 under par, the first time he went bowling, he scored a perfect 300. The first time he went hunting children he had captured from the families of Scientology deniers, he shot 4 with the same bullet!
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