Daniel Johnston

Daniel Dale Motown Johnston, 1982-ish.

Daniel Dale Motown Johnston (born January 22, 1961) is an American singer, songwriter, musician, and artist. His critically-acclaimed music, which generally lingers in the country/pop genre, has turned him into a cult figure since he appeared on the music scene in 1980-something. Johnston is known for his full, adventurous life, in which he accomplished many things, before his mysterious disappearance in 1993. In 2006, Daniel Johnston: His Story, a documentary on Johnston's life, was released. Is this funny? My GOD what are we doing?? The DEVIL's got you buddy!!

Early Life

Daniel was born to parents Blind Willie Johnston and Big-Legged Marie Johnston in Fudge Town, The Land of Chocolate, in 1961. The Johnston family soon left the country however, due to it's political instability. They migrated to the United States of America, mooching their way through many states until settling in West Virginia.

Daniel spent his early years like any other child, happily attending elementary school, taking piano lessons, and watching TV. His parents, and siblings Smooth Blind-Legged, Little-Big Erica, and Big Balls Johnston, all loved him.

Everything changed when Daniel started middle school, however. He sank into a self-involved world of intense depression, fake illness, nature walks, and bird-watching. His family stopped loving him. I stopped loving him. Daniel moved into the attic where he discovered that he had an amazing talent in the world of crocheting. Daniel spent all of his time in the attic drawing, recording albums, and crocheting. Within 6 months Daniel completed 19 full length tapes, 17 sweaters, and 23 pairs of sweat pants.

Through High School, Daniel was known as a 'weirdo crazy kid with a high singing voice', becoming the class clown, magician, and ringmaster. He drew eyeballs with wings, like, all the time. On walls, on paper, on himself. Yeah. So anyway, by the time Daniel was starting college, he had finally been diagnosed with Daniel Johnston Syndrome. A mental-physical-parallel-universe-ish condition that causes supreme talent, wonderfulness, and legendary-status.

It was in college that Daniel met Big Blind Rumplestiltskin-face Smith, a slammin' hottie. He immediately fell in love. He soon discovered, however, that Big Blind Rumplestiltskin-face was engaged to The Devil. This spurred on Daniel to write his first hit, The Devil Got Mah Sweet-Lookin Rumplestiltskin-face.

After this event Daniel became devoted to bringing the devil down. He staged several picket protests outside of Satanic churches and made a promise to dress in all white forever. For he though that this was the most christian thing to do.

Music Career

After the moderate indie success brought on by The Devil Got Mah Sweet-Lookin Rumplestiltskin-face, Daniel moved to his brother's McDonalds outlet in Austin, Texas, in 1985, to record more songs. Songs such as Going To Hell For Rumplestiltskin's Sins, Rumplestiltskin-face Blues, Rumplestiltskin-face Rock, and I Ain't Got No Rumplestiltskin-face came from these Austin recording sessions.

By 1987, Daniel's songs were all over the radio, and he was making semi-almost-regular appearances on MTV. Music Mogul Steve Shelley invited Daniel to New York City to 'record some songs'. The resulting sessions saw Daniel record 4 albums, Pimp Jump Music, Songs of Unbearably High-Pitched Pain, More Songs of Unbearably High-Pitched Pain, and Rumplestiltskin-face Took My Heart To Hell. Backed by Steve Shelley, Daniel toured to support the four moderately-successful albums, travelling across the world. Daniel also appeared on MTV, again, and made a lot of money from it.

Daniel's picture on a Milk Carton, 1996.

Daniel returned to the music scene in 1990, after the three years of unrest due to his medical condition. The album, Mama, Have You Seen My Sweet Rumplestiltskin-face?, went Gold and earned Daniel a grammy. Daniel toured for the album extensively, backed by Steve Shelley, again.

Mysterious Disappearance

It was 1993, when Daniel was recording his next album, a collaboration with Asian Rapper 2-Shank, that he mysteriously disappeared. It was really mysterious. After leaving the Chocolate Schmocolate recording studios in Fudge Town, The Land of Chocolate, Daniel was not seen again.

Various efforts were made to find him. His picture was printed on milk cartons, flyers were dropped from zeppelins, and a hotline was set up for sightings.

The hotline number is (1)(256)I-SAW-DAN.

The 'Fake Daniel Johnston', 2003.

Conspiracy Theories

There are three popular conspiracy theories concerning Daniel's disappearance circulating around.

The first theory puts the spotlight fully on Steve Shelley, who is rumored by theorists to have murdered Daniel. Shelley has denied any involvement in the mysterious disappearance.

The third theory is that Daniel Johnston is alive and well, and living with his parents in West Virginia. Photographs have circulated of this 'Daniel Johnston', who has been dubbed 'Fake Daniel', as he does not resemble Daniel Johnston in the slightest.

Discography

1. Songs of Unbearably High-Pitched Pain¹ (Slappy Happy, 1982)
2. Be afraid.. BE VERY AFRAID,¹ (Slappy Happy, 1983)
3. More Songs of Unbearably High-Pitched Pain¹ (Slappy Happy, 1983)
4. Yo! How you doin?¹ (Slappy Happy, 1983)
5. Pimp Jump Music¹ (Slappy Happy, 1984)
6. Rumplestiltskin-face Took My Heart To Hell¹ (Slappy Happy, 1984)
7. Mama, Have You Seen My Sweet Rumplestiltskin-face?,¹ (Slappy Happy, 1985)
8. Retired Porn Star,¹ (Slappy Happy, 1985)
9. Spooky As Haaaale (w/ Tom Far)¹ (Slappy Happy, 1986)