Cup Size
Cup Size (also called Mug Size) is indicated according to standards set in various countries and consists of capital letters of the English alphabet to determine one or more categories in which to place humans of the female gender. The letter is determined by the size of a drinking cup according to its width and height. These standard sizing systems are especially relevant to the labeling of cougars, harlots and your average bitch. The letters are arranged in alphabetical order in conjunction with the female personality traits, starting with the letter A which would refer to someone similar to a quiet Librarian and can go up to any letter thereafter with an ever increasing shock factor for every letter. Women's cup sizes are determined simply by the cup they drink out of and nothing more.
The A Cup[edit | edit source]
The A-cup is smallest and most fragile cup. A woman who is seen drinking from this cup would be considered completely withdrawn to the extent that people may not even notice them at all. Weak tea (most likely green tea) will be her beverage of choice when she holds her shaky cup over her fragile, little saucer and sips away at the flavorless concoction. Women who have been placed in this category are generally perceived as quiet introverts who are most likely to live in complete isolation. A-Cup women are generally those who choose to be nuns, pre-school teachers, social workers, animal shelter volunteers, librarians and writers among many other career paths. Don't let the sweet, shy smile and soft, nervous giggle fool you; the A-cup woman may be as impenetrable as a chastity belt, but below all that sickeningly sweet kindness is a little desperate, vindictive girl who longs to drink out of a B-cup.
The B Cup[edit | edit source]
The B-cup woman is slightly more assertive than the A-cup woman. Most B-cup women are those who claim to be perfectly satisfied with themselves as they are, but their choice to drink urine-like coffee out of a cup that only allows up to three mouthfuls of liquid suggests that she is too easily satisfied with the average for her to be truly happy. The B-cup woman will come across as genuine and truthful, but those who fall victim to this front usually find their lives in chaos after she betrays them through the art of manipulation. B-cup women are those who choose to be secretaries, personal assistants, housewives (home executives), interior decorators, mediums and wedding planners. When confronted, she will be surprised, oblivious and condoling but when admittedly insecure, the B cup woman is most likely to change her drinking habits and purse her lips on a C-cup instead.
The C Cup[edit | edit source]
The C-cup is by far the most popular drinking utensil of all. This may be because most women who drink out of C-cups are those women who formerly drank out of A and B cups and changed over in search of personal satisfaction. The C-cup woman is very specific when it comes to her beverage and can be quite a handful when ensuring that she receives the perfect cup of coffee. Fortunately for her, most waiters and coffee shops are very willing to meet those demands in any way possible, thus causing a sharp increase in the popularity of this piece of crockery. C-cup women are not successful entrepreneurs by nature, but their power of persuasion is so strong that they need not worry too much about success. C-cup women are those who usually marry wealthy men and have their children, but those who do choose a career go on to become exotic dancers, hostesses, failed actresses, waitresses and bartenders. What C cup women don't usually realize is that they will eventually go on to drink out of D-cups.
The D Cup[edit | edit source]
D-cup women can't get enough coffee and will stop at nothing to keep gulping down as much of any liquid as they possibly can in large quantitties. Thanks to having a breadwinner, or two, or three close at hand, the D-cup woman's cup always runneth over and she need not ever worry about running out. D-cup women are the most demanding and if they ever suffer a tough blow, they are sure to always bounce right back. This category of women usually includes those in their middle ages who will most likely have children and a husband, but that does not stop them from helping themselves to some fresh unpercolated coffee every once in a while. Heiresses, tycoons and courtesans are examples of some of the professions which belong to this category, but a variety of average women and cougars may easily find themselves in this category.