Crazy leg syndrome

Forget your down syndromes and your Alzheimer’s. Crazy Leg Syndrome (CLS) is the most serious disease ever. So what is CLS you ask? Well, honestly, have you been living under a fucking rock or something?? Because quite frankly you would have to be a complete hermit if you didn't know what crazy leg syndrome is. Oh but don't get it confused with polio, or A.D.H.D. CLS is unique. Let me set you up with a scenario.. so basically you're walking down the street, and suddenly your legs just go crazy, I’m not talking about Michael Jackson crazy, I mean fucking crazy, there sticking out in every direction, doing all sort of dances (the chicken dance, the twist and the moonwalk) and you just can't control it. This is a crazy leg seizure. Sound familiar.. well congrats, you have crazy leg syndrome.

Crazy Leg Syndrome is also known as "Heebie-Jeebies" or "Elvis Legs".

What are the symptoms?

• You enjoy listening to the veronicas and dancing the night away.
• One of your leg is different than the other one in any way possible.
• You have leg spasms (not to be confused with tourettes).

• WARNING: most people are born with crazy leg syndrome, but you can get it from eating too many sultana snacks and spinach!

Who has it?

• Michael Jackson
• Justin Timberlake
• Gay backup dancers
• Elvis Presley
• Jack, the lead singer of The Rogues
• Craig Goode - Jailhouse FC

and also weird people

Is there a cure?

Fortunately for the amusement of many people, there is no cure for CLS. Once you have it, you're stuck with it for life. Though it has been rumoured that you can brew a certain witches' potion that will slow down the effects of crazy leg seizures for a couple of days.

What can I do to help?

Well you can actually buy an orange armband that has the words "CLS" imprinted upon it; the proceeds towards the selling of these armbands go towards the founder's weekly grocery shopping. You could also invent a cure for CLS, but then again you could also not.