Chemtrail
Chemtrails are mysterious trails left in the sky, used by conspiracy theorists as evidence that Santa is attempting to again take over the world with biological weapons. These floating phenomena are similar to aircraft contrails, but normally linger for longer and are arranged in elaborate high-altitude constellations in the sky.
These trails are thought to be left by 3 of Santa's Reindeers, specifically Cupid, Vixen and Comet (disputed).
Chemtrail Theory[edit | edit source]
Held by many in the Bush administration as one of the most dangerous threats to humanity, it is thought these trails contain mind control chemicals causing the public to purchase vast amounts of gifts and other commercial goods to bestow upon family and friends around December 25th.
It is also considered by scientists that young children are more susceptible to chemtrails than adults, who often rebuff claims that Santa actually exists.
On ground and at lower altitudes, the products of these Chemtrails are known as Snow. Extensive studying shows that many who are exposed to snow adopt strange behavior (known in the medical world as "Festive Spirit"). This condition also propagates the acquisition of gifts at retail stores.
Threat Mitigation[edit | edit source]
The Bush administration is one of the only governments in the world who are acting to stomp out this warring act. Thankfully, by refusing the sign the Kyoto treaty, they have ensured the demise of Polar ice caps, which will evidently reduce the territory of Santa greatly.
Similarly, authorities affected by Snow worldwide employ mechanical Snow Ploughs to remove Snow from roads. However, as illustrated by the image on the right, this method is ineffective.
See also[edit | edit source]
- "What In The World Are They Spraying On Us?" Video with facts and proof on chemtrails