Bray War of Independence
| Bray War of Independence | |
|---|---|
| Conflict: Bray Rebellion | |
| Date: May 6th 2016 | |
| Place: Bray | |
| Outcome: rebel victory | |
| Combatants | |
| Bray Knackers Front (BKF)
Bray Illiterate Front (QGC) |
Ireland
Garda Siochana |
| Commanders | |
| unknown | President of Ireland |
| Strength | |
| BKF: 36438
QGC: 323 |
432 Gardaí |
| Casualties | |
| 10,000,000 | unknown |
The Bray War of Independence was an extremely destructive war in 2016 that led to 10,000,000 deaths.
Battle of The Dole Offices[edit | edit source]
The battle of The Dole Offices took place outside the dole offices, with Gardaí assaulting the dole offices captured by rebel forces. The Guards were defeated when the local hash zombies distracted them trying to claim their dole, allowing a rebel to piss on them from the roof, followed by a rain of molotov cocktails.
Battle of Fassaroe[edit | edit source]
The Battle of Fassaroe was the most destructive battle of the entire conflict, despite neither side taking part in the battle. The Fitzknacker and McDole clans got into a heated debate over who owned a broken green plastic lighter found along the roadside. The Fitzknacker clan launched an assault on the boarded up house of the McDole clan, but the McDole clan resisted wave after wave of crosseyed individuals launching themselves at the windows. The McDole clan fought bravely against the Fitzknackers, but were eventually overrun when a drone funded by stolen copper wire sales with a brick attached flew in through the window, instantly killing the chieftain of the McDole clan. A brick with a firework attached was then thrown through the broken window, exploding and severly injuring the rest of the McDoles. The McDoles continued to fight bravely despite their injuries, but were unable to hold out against the hundreds of inbred individuals launching themselves through the windows. The entire McDole clan was killed, along with 3,675 Fitzknackers. The lighter, it turned out, belonged to neither of the clans, instead belonging to the youngest son of the O'Hash family, who was only 6 years old and dropped it while being held by his mam on a walk.
Outcome[edit | edit source]
With the defeat of the Gardaí, the BKF and QGC established the Democratic Republic of Bray on the 8th of May 2016, electing Dick "head" Roche as president for some reason. Then all of a sudden, people remembered what a gobshite he is, and shot him only five minutes later. General John Brady succeeded Roche, with CHUCK the Walrus as his Vice-President. Brady's first act was to declare Gerry Adams the Patron Saint of Bray.