Blue Toon Link

From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
Jump to navigation Jump to search
Blue toon link, notice the sticky bomb stuck to his hand

Blue Toon Link is a member of the treacherous triforce bombers. He's mostly known for suicide bombing which doesn't always go to plan. He spent many years practicing his techniques but never fully mastered them (actually he never understand most of them himself). The main thing he loved though was tending to his garden where he grew all his own bombs. His favourite being the blue bell bomb plant

Early Life[edit | edit source]

School Life[edit | edit source]

Blue Toon Link started school at al-Qaeda's friendly state school for young terrorists. There he learned how to assemble, disassemble, and reassemble a bomb. The main subject he took to was how to successfully commit a suicide bomb attack.

After his nursery school he went on to seek spiritual guidance from a man named Sad Adam Hussein. He taught him to find the inner terrorist in him. Also he guided him in the ways of bombing. Later he found a old man who knew the ancient art of bomb-juistu. At the age of 12 he went to al-Qaeda's high school for young bombers and found his chief field to be creation of sticky bombs and avoiding plasma mines.

Now for the part on his parents, they were Princess Zelda and King of Darkness, Ganondorf. This happened when Ganondorf raped her after one of his kidnappings, although he supported them both, Zelda still tried to make everyone think it was Link's kid by naming him Toon Link (he renamed himself later, Blue Toon Link to fool his enemies so they didn't kidnap Zelda to get to him). They had 3 other children, all kept secret from the other children. The first being Green Toon Link; the second and the eldest being Red Toon Link, and lastly was Purple Toon Link who had a sex change at the age of 3. Blue Toon Link was 3rd in the line of man-children. Then he left the real world and reincarnated in the toon world where the real world was a little different, and he kept doing what he did best, along with his other 3 shadows, bombing

Later Life[edit | edit source]

Career[edit | edit source]

Blue toon links Muslim Disguise

Blue Toon Link joined the triforce bombers in the year of 1999, with the following members Red Toon Link (obsessed with fire guy) and Green Toon Link (leader). There was purple but we don't like to talk about him much...

After this Blue Link's most infamous bombing was the 9/11 attack on the World Trade Center in New York. While Green guy did the plane; Purple randomly stabbed victims and Red set the building alight. Blue mean while, converted to Islam and grew a beard for a disguise. He also hid the hat as it was a dead giveaway. This attack only killed 1 person, that was because Purple got set on fire by Red (thanks Red) so he couldn't stab anyone. Then Green missed the World Trade Center so Blue quickly ditched his disguise.

Love life[edit | edit source]

His first love was a young girl called Peach who he met at a school disco at Mushroom junior school. But he was forced to stop seeing her when a boy who wanted to become a plumber named Mario who was dressed in red with blue dungarees threatened to tighten his nuts if he didn't stop going out with her. His next love was in high school. He went out with a slut by the name of [Samus]] who was obsessed with orange and yellow armour, with laser canons on the arm. He stopped seeing her at 19 when he was told by Samus' friend Kraid that she was going out with his fake dad link. At the age of 22 he went through a gay phase. Where he met up with a guy in green with blue dungarees. He was a professional plumber and so was his brother. The guy in Green was called Luigi. After a year he got bored of being gay and moved to America (without telling him, but he soon found out) hence the 9/11 bombings.

Hobbies[edit | edit source]

His first hobby was Water Polo which he played at the age of 4. His first team was at his local school, Bombing is fun. But unfortunately he didn't get very far as he was discovered cheating in his first game as he switched the ball for a water bomb. At the age of 5 he took up chess. But again didn't get very far. As in his second match for the county he was discovered taking mind enhancers. At the age of six he met the elderly chap how taught him bomb-juistu. At 7 after completing his training (which didn't go very well, the elderly chap never saw it coming) he started gardening. He was very bored growing ordinary plants so he went and learned to do selective breeding. So he could create his famous Blue bells bomb plant.

Methods of killing[edit | edit source]

Blue's methods of killing are as follows:

  • He sets the bomb line on fire then puts it on the hook shot and throws it at his enemy. After he explodes he runs over and eats the other persons/things heart to regain health.
  • He yells at the top of his voice paralysing his enemies. After this he then runs over and gouges out their internal organs and devours them.

See also[edit | edit source]