Bassist/The Bass Offender Checklist
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Name of Offender (Bass Player):_______________________ | ||
Infraction Date:___________________________ | ||
Musical Offenses | ||
Playing loudly during warm up | $10 | |
Sound-checking amp with funk slapping | $25 | |
Loud cursing after mistake | $10 | |
Playing high and fast after mistake | $20 | |
Practicing 2-handed tapping between tunes | $20 | |
Asking for "E" tuning note | $25 | |
Playing E anyway when horns tune to Bb | $50 | |
Playing written-out walking line | $50 | |
Failure to play written walking line | $75 | |
Writing note names over ledger-line notes | $50 | |
Writing beat numbers under dotted figures | $50 | |
Playing eighth notes | $5 each | |
Playing sixteenth notes | $10 each | |
Playing above 1st octave | Immediate dismissal | |
Dragging fast tempo | $75 | |
Dragging ballad tempo | $100 | |
Blacking out during ballad | $200 | |
Ignoring drummer's tempo | $100 | |
Following drummer's tempo | $250 | |
Asking to borrow Real Book for All Of Me | $1000 | |
Upright Players | ||
Showing up before first downbeat | $25 | |
Playing audibly | $25 | |
Faking changes | $25 | |
Slapping | $150 | |
Missing tutti lick, then mentioning vintage of bass | $25 | |
Excessive sweating | $25 | |
Pedal point double-stops during horn solo | $50 | |
Asking leader for a solo | $30 | |
Accepting solo when offerred | $50 | |
Taking second chorus | $100 | |
Playing solo arco | $400 | |
Pretending to check tuning after playing out of tune | $100 | |
Playing "A Train" ending on every tune | $200 | |
Playing extended "A Train" ending on every tune | $500 | |
Electric Players | ||
Checking hair between tunes | $15 | |
Experimenting with odd meters | $25 | |
Missing root at end of blistering fill | $25 | |
Playing with a pick | $50 | |
Tuning during ballad | $30 | |
Playing Jaco groove on samba | $75 | |
Playing Jaco samba groove on ballad | $150 | |
Attempting last word on final chord | $50 | |
Achieving last word on final chord | $100 | |
Long gliss down to final note | $200 | |
Equipment Violations | ||
Forgetting strap | $10 | |
Changing strings after every set | $15 | |
Using electric tuner | $15 | |
Setting up mic "just in case" | $75 | |
Forgetting to turn amp on | $40 | |
Bringing amp larger than 1 person can carry in 1 trip | $50 | |
Asking horn player for help moving amp | $25 | |
Bringing custom-made bass | $100 per string above 4 | |
Bringing more than 1 bass | $100 per extra bass | |
Skull decals on bass | $150 | |
Bringing fretless bass | $500 | |
Criminal Bad Taste | ||
Telling bone player about all the gigs you get | $10 | |
Asking bone player about their day gig | $10 | |
Sitting behind drums on break | $10 | |
Quoting "Birdland" | $25 | |
Practicing scales during break | $25 | |
Practicing scales during drum solo | $50 | |
Practicing | $150 | |
Beginning a sentence with "When I was a guitar player..." | $50 | |
Casually mentioning to Musical Director of cheap theater that you are "into sequencing" | $100 | |
Basic Stupidity | ||
Wearing old Buddy Rich tour shirt | $10 | |
Wearing new Nickelback tour shirt | $20 | |
Asking when the rock set starts | $20 | |
Continually asking "Where are we?" | $25 | |
Continually shouting "Yeah!" | $25 | |
Asking bone player where "1" is | $50 | |
Taking cell phone call during 4's | $100 |
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