Bassist/The Bass Offender Checklist
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| Name of Offender (Bass Player):_______________________ | ||
| Infraction Date:___________________________ | ||
| Musical Offenses | ||
| Playing loudly during warm up | $10 | |
| Sound-checking amp with funk slapping | $25 | |
| Loud cursing after mistake | $10 | |
| Playing high and fast after mistake | $20 | |
| Practicing 2-handed tapping between tunes | $20 | |
| Asking for "E" tuning note | $25 | |
| Playing E anyway when horns tune to Bb | $50 | |
| Playing written-out walking line | $50 | |
| Failure to play written walking line | $75 | |
| Writing note names over ledger-line notes | $50 | |
| Writing beat numbers under dotted figures | $50 | |
| Playing eighth notes | $5 each | |
| Playing sixteenth notes | $10 each | |
| Playing above 1st octave | Immediate dismissal | |
| Dragging fast tempo | $75 | |
| Dragging ballad tempo | $100 | |
| Blacking out during ballad | $200 | |
| Ignoring drummer's tempo | $100 | |
| Following drummer's tempo | $250 | |
| Asking to borrow Real Book for All Of Me | $1000 | |
| Upright Players | ||
| Showing up before first downbeat | $25 | |
| Playing audibly | $25 | |
| Faking changes | $25 | |
| Slapping | $150 | |
| Missing tutti lick, then mentioning vintage of bass | $25 | |
| Excessive sweating | $25 | |
| Pedal point double-stops during horn solo | $50 | |
| Asking leader for a solo | $30 | |
| Accepting solo when offerred | $50 | |
| Taking second chorus | $100 | |
| Playing solo arco | $400 | |
| Pretending to check tuning after playing out of tune | $100 | |
| Playing "A Train" ending on every tune | $200 | |
| Playing extended "A Train" ending on every tune | $500 | |
| Electric Players | ||
| Checking hair between tunes | $15 | |
| Experimenting with odd meters | $25 | |
| Missing root at end of blistering fill | $25 | |
| Playing with a pick | $50 | |
| Tuning during ballad | $30 | |
| Playing Jaco groove on samba | $75 | |
| Playing Jaco samba groove on ballad | $150 | |
| Attempting last word on final chord | $50 | |
| Achieving last word on final chord | $100 | |
| Long gliss down to final note | $200 | |
| Equipment Violations | ||
| Forgetting strap | $10 | |
| Changing strings after every set | $15 | |
| Using electric tuner | $15 | |
| Setting up mic "just in case" | $75 | |
| Forgetting to turn amp on | $40 | |
| Bringing amp larger than 1 person can carry in 1 trip | $50 | |
| Asking horn player for help moving amp | $25 | |
| Bringing custom-made bass | $100 per string above 4 | |
| Bringing more than 1 bass | $100 per extra bass | |
| Skull decals on bass | $150 | |
| Bringing fretless bass | $500 | |
| Criminal Bad Taste | ||
| Telling bone player about all the gigs you get | $10 | |
| Asking bone player about their day gig | $10 | |
| Sitting behind drums on break | $10 | |
| Quoting "Birdland" | $25 | |
| Practicing scales during break | $25 | |
| Practicing scales during drum solo | $50 | |
| Practicing | $150 | |
| Beginning a sentence with "When I was a guitar player..." | $50 | |
| Casually mentioning to Musical Director of cheap theater that you are "into sequencing" | $100 | |
| Basic Stupidity | ||
| Wearing old Buddy Rich tour shirt | $10 | |
| Wearing new Nickelback tour shirt | $20 | |
| Asking when the rock set starts | $20 | |
| Continually asking "Where are we?" | $25 | |
| Continually shouting "Yeah!" | $25 | |
| Asking bone player where "1" is | $50 | |
| Taking cell phone call during 4's | $100 | |
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