Basingstoke
Basingstoke (commonly referred to as Blazingsmoke, Roundabout City, The Oakley Massive or simply BStoke Bruvva) is a theme park near Hampshire in which the main attractions are the roundabouts. The roundabouts are constructed by world-class Imagineers who are often only armed with compasses and signs. Rides are typically circular in shape, and are spread among three areas, commonly referred to by Cast Members and Imagineers as "housing estates" or in the case of Oakley, "the largest retirement home in the land".
Festival Place[edit | edit source]
Festival Place is the centre of the park and is home to many amusements and rides. Festival Place, surprisingly, is the part of the park with the least number of roundabouts, although at least 3 must be traversed before entering the building. Access to all other areas is provided on a need-to-pee basis, because of the low frequency of buses.
- Multi-Storey Mania A white-knuckle ride popular with locals and tourists alike. Bring an automatic car with bad handling for twice the fun.
- Apple Imagination Station A location seemingly popular with people who like blue tee-shirts. Referred to by Apple as "So shiny, you can almost see the guy with the Apple uniform behind you who is stealing your Android phone and suing you for looking like the people who work there."
- Festival Plaice A place with a lot of plaice. Book late to avoid excitement.
- Marks and Spencer Despite popular belief by middle aged husbands, the Marks and Spencer store in Basingstoke is the only Marks and Spencer store where the time warp function isn't on all the time, which Marks and Spencer have denied on multiple occasions, although it is generally believed by the general public to be that. Notable occasions in which the time warp function has been reported to have been disabled include, during wartime, when somebody is in a rush, and when men go in the store.
Leisure Park[edit | edit source]
The leisure park is the main roundabout spectation area, with a bowling centre, a bowls centre, a big swimming pool and a Hunger Games arena. Restaurants are aplenty, for all of your food desires. Also nearby is the ODEON cinema, in which roundabout fanatics and normal people come to watch the latest roundabout documentaries.
- KFC Basically McDonald's with more chicken.
- McDonald's
For all of your beef horse desires. Known as the only McDonald's store in the UK to be situated in a pile of dirt.
- Bowling Ball, down alley. DO YOU REALLY NEED ME TO EXPLAIN????
- Swimming Pool Highlights are: Broken Jacuzzi of doom, Green slide of death (no, literally), and the Blue slide of malfunction.