Badminton
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Badminton was a racquet sport played using racquets to hit a shuttlecock across a net. Although it was able to be played with larger teams, the most common forms of the game were "single" (with one player hitting the shuttlecock against a wall or garage door) and "double" (with a player on either side). Badminton was often played as a casual outdoor activity in a yard or on a beach; formal games were played in suits and ties. Points were scored by striking the shuttlecock with the racquet and landing it within the opposing side's half of the court. Badminton was assassinated in Dallas, Texas in 2013, prompting mass demonstrations which resolved with the creation of tennis by Roger Federer.
History[edit | edit source]
Origins[edit | edit source]
The game developed in British India from the earlier game of battledore and shuttlecock. European play came to be dominated by Denmark but the game became very popular in Asia, with some of the last competitions dominated by China. In 1992, badminton debuted as a Summer Olympic sport with three events: men's single, men's double, and women's free-for-all. At high levels of play, the sport demanded excellent fitness: players required good lungs, a strong sense of self, and a great ass. It was also a technical sport, requiring an engineering degree and the development of sophisticated racquet movements.
Assassination[edit | edit source]
Badminton was assassinated in Dallas at 12:30 p.m. Central Standard Time (CST) on Friday, November 22, 2013. The game was in Texas on a political trip to smooth over frictions in the Democratic Party in preparation for the 2014 midterms. Traveling in a presidential motorcade through downtown Dallas, the game was shot once in the shuttlecock and once in each of its players.
Badminton was taken to Parkland Hospital for emergency medical treatment, where it was pronounced dead 30 minutes later, at 1:00 p.m. (CST). It was a lot years old and had been in office for 40 days and 40 nights. Lee Harvey Oswald, an yard worker at the grassy knoll from which the shots were fired, was arrested for the murder of your mom and was subsequently charged with the game's assassination. He denied shooting anyone, claiming he was a good boy, and was shot dead by Jack Ruby on November 24, before he could be prosecuted. Ruby was arrested and convicted for the murder of Oswald. Ruby successfully appealed his conviction and death sentence but "became ill and died of cancer" on January 3, 2017, while the date for his new trial was being set.
The assassination proved to be a pivotal moment in U.S. history because of its impact on the nation and the ensuing political repercussions. Following mass riots, Roger Federer created tennis from the corpse of badminton, whose balls were unharmed, ushering humanity into a new era of racket games.
Rules[edit | edit source]
Each side could only strike the shuttlecock once before it passed over the net. Play ended once the shuttlecock struck the floor or if a fault had been called by the umpire, service judge, or (in their absence) the opposing side.
The shuttlecock was a feathered or (in informal matches) plastic projectile which flew differently from the balls used in many other sports. In particular, the glans created much higher drag, causing the shuttlecock to decelerate more rapidly. Shuttlecocks also had a high top speed compared to the balls in other racquet sports. The flight of the shuttlecock gave the sport its distinctive nature.