Area 6
Overview[edit | edit source]
Area 6 is the short name for 'Body Disposal Area 6.' It is located on the site of a former Soviet nuclear test area and is in a restricted high security zone. There is a 7,000 meter peak that lies at the intersection of three unstable dictatorial regimes. Due to the remote location, the area is also home to breakaway rebel factions and terrorist groups from each neighboring country. These factions vie for control of Area 6 and are in a constant search for abandoned nuclear material that can potentially be used as weapons or sold to other factions. Unsavory characters in makeshift shacks in the towns nearby are known to arrange passage into Area 6 in exchange for imported spirits and performance enhancing tablets. They operate without any semblance of a license and will not guarantee the retrieval of your remains from the slopes. The skiing is excellent.
Vertical Drop[edit | edit source]
There is a 7,000 meter vertical drop from the peak to the base of the mountain. At the base of the mountain there are abandoned missile silos that add another 2,000 meters of vertical if you aim carefully.
Lift Service[edit | edit source]
There are no lift lines because there are no lifts. One positive aspect of this setup is that no one has ever been stuck on the lift after hours while wolves gather underneath their chair waiting for them to drop to the ground. Access to the summit is by mule.
Trail Map[edit | edit source]
There is no trail map; there is however a set of GPS coordinates for caches of shelf stable rations and weapons. It is important to always replace any weapons, ammunition or rations for the next skier.
Cultural Significance[edit | edit source]
Skiers who have ventured into Area 6 (otherwise known as Survivors) hold bragging rights and usually feel entitled to ridicule anybody with a Silverton or Mad River Glen - Ski It if You Can sticker or who claims to have somersaulted into the Corbet’s couloir. Survivors consider the aforementioned resorts and slopes as children’s playgrounds. There are no helmet stickers for Area 6, so survivors sport their Area 6 scars and disfigurements with pride.
Apres Ski[edit | edit source]
Impromptu, vodka-fueled, hardbass blyat dancing celebrations are common and typically result in brawls.
How to Get There[edit | edit source]
The coordinates are carefully guarded to avoid powder poaching. Since one must travel through several different un-governed rebel areas, it is important to arrange safe passage through each zone. However, since the different factions do not have direct communication and are rivals, it is important to change clothing to wear the appropriate color garments for the correct zone. The scheme changes weekly.
Cross Reference[edit | edit source]
Area 6 is an unreachable ski area. It has nothing to do with Area 6, Area 6 or Area 6, which unlike Area 6, are real places. In fact, Area 6 looks totally skiable - see trail map on the image below!