View source for Above Top Secret

__NOTOC__
[[File:Eniac4.jpeg|thumb|379px|'''An ATS user finally figures out who killed Kennedy - [[wikipedia:Rose Kennedy|Rose Kennedy]] - and contemplates his next edit.''']]
On one hand, '''Above Top Secret''' (pronounced '''ATS''') is a conspiracy and breaking news site manned by some of the [[HowTo:Get a suntan|brightest]] unemployed people on the planet. {{PopupImage|image=6fingers.jpg|width=300|height=225|On another hand}}, it's a place where distracting ads try to grab your attention and further cripple your sense of keeping your wallet closed (some ads actually float up out of nowhere and defy all attempts to capture or kill them). And on the last hand, sticky with bodily fluids but the one that holds all the cards, ATS is a site occupied by inmates of mental hospitals and/or security agencies monitoring the populace to see where the crazy will go next.

== The motto ==
ATS's motto is "Deny Ignorance." Ignorant users are required to post this at least once a day.

== The members ==
The site is inhabited by thousands of geeks, scientists, administrators, pre-teens and pre-memes, and by good and bad writers of all descriptions and professions. It's inhibited by mothers calling their sons up to dinner. The smart people on ATS diligently research, report, and expose the outlandishness popping up all around us, and the still smarter ones [[Kitten Cookbook|dig in]] to research and expose the secrets from the deepest, {{PopupImage|image=Ass-hole.jpg|width=300|height=216|darkest lurky-holes}} of history.
 
The not-so-smart people who troll ATS give it a go anyway, and come away with some friendly advice''':''' STFU! Hello, Girls? Girls who long for emotional fulfillment? Here's your chance to pick up an intellectually liberated, probably obese and/or dehydrated layabout, who can type, do research, formulate exotic theories, and make the best chip dip that a little money can buy. And boys in various stages of virginity, here's ''your'' chance to [[HowTo:Date an Emo Girl|hit on]] lots of cute, hydrated, intelligent working women and feel the {{PopupImage|image=Sammy phillips.jpg|width=300|height=387|cold sting of their laughter}}.

== The Content ==
[[File:Ufo10.jpg|thumb|275px|'''<small>posted August 4:</small> "OMG OMG OMG, it buzzed my house and I screamed and filmed it. A giant flying amoeba with tentacles or something." (HOAX)''']]
Topics at ATS range from the latest threads and heated debates about mainstream media's going-gently-down-the-stream news, loud booms in the sky and under the earth, major die-offs of species hopefully leading to gleefully anticipated global destruction, hot women - real or just alien-enduced internet fantasy - and the newest and oldest in political, governmental, and incidental [[UnNews:911 conspiracies explained by a sandwich|conspiracies]]. And that's just their warm up act. They then go on to report on wars and rumors of rumors of wars, and write about "Look over there!" when other media outlets tell us to "Look over here!". ATS explains the universe by saying that "everything exists everywhere else" but, oddly, it allows no mention of "drugs", even though a healthy percentage of their [[Hippies|users]] are solidly and significantly [[California Marijuana Initiative|stoned]] when they come to visit.

Men who prowl ATS have fun with facts, fear, frivolity, and fantasy - the 4-F Club for those who don't fornicate. The women who write there are the salt of the earth, and likely know the chemical formula for both salt and earth. In fact, ATS's brave users exist far ahead of their time while digging their muddy hands into their time. If anyone tells you that [[Ghosts never seem to play fair|ghosts]] can drive a UFO, they probaby aren't doing it on ATS, which doesn't put up very well with [[Salem witch trials|stupid]]. When an ATS thread reaches fifty flags you can bet your mother's house that some {{PopupImage|image=Beyond insanity.jpg|width=400|height=300|good data got through}} the dumb-down filter laid across the net by "the man" and "his woman". And if it's excitement you're after, exploring the site's caves and forums can take you deep into [[User:Unregistered user|weird]] caverns where stalagtites grow faces and yell at you about the next big thing. Just don't swing your arms around, you're liable to hit [[Stephen Hawking ran over my cat|Stephen Hawking]] on the way out.

== HowTo:View Above Top Secret ==
A useful top secret from Zog, the Queen of tha ants''':''' It's best to fill up your ultra-calorie snack bowl and view the site as a logged-in member, even if you never post anything, because, as said earlier, the unholy place seems as full of ads as that [[2001: A Space Odyssey|black thing]] was full of stars. Logged in members bypass some ads, but not all of them by [[UnNews:Kennedy Assassination Solved|a longshot]] (a not-so-fun fact - they even let ads grow in-between every fifth or sixth post as seen by the non-member riff-raff''':''' a.k.a. the general public). And as an added bonus, when you log-in you get to see users avatars - some [[Elfen Lied|creepy ones]], [[Dead Dicks|power mad ones]], [[People Who Like to Fuck Naked|sexy ones]], [[A Fine Frenzy|beautiful]] [[Dennis Kucinich's wife|ones]], but [[Enhanced Interrogation Techniques|mostly sc]][[Alone in the Dark|ary ones]] - and can award "flags", "stars", and "geese" to threads and comments that you like and/or [[Mental illness|agree with]].

== The bottom line ==
And these ''are'' the bottom lines unless you can find the secret bottom line''':''' on its way to denying ignorance, Above Top Secret blasts you [[UnScripts:Who built the moon|to the moon]] (unlike those faked moon landings brought to you by Stanley Kubrick and E. Howard Hunt) and sends you back either with more knowledge of your world and others like it or with more backlit trauma than your brain can soak up in one visit. Ignorance has its place, but certainly not at ATS (unless you're their advertising manager).
[[File:Mad scientist.jpg|300px|center|'''"Green! It turns it green! I must alert ATS! It's flags, stars, and geese boys, flags, stars, and geese!"''']]
<big><big><center>'''"Green! It turns it green! I must alert ATS!"'''</center></big></big>


== Where The Wild Things Are: ==
* [http://www.abovetopsecret.com/forum/thread821999/pg1 We all live in a yellow submarine, ah, I mean a computer.]
* [http://www.abovetopsecret.com/forum/thread740902/pg1 The size of the universe? Pretty big!]
* [http://www.abovetopsecret.com/forum/thread346977/pg1 Life on Mars? Dibs on the cute skinny chicks.]
* [http://www.abovetopsecret.com/forum/thread829546/pg1 More life on Mars, no hunting allowed on public land.]]
* [http://www.abovetopsecret.com/forum/thread759957/pg1 One of the world's best kept secrets, or, "Here come the Tavistock boys!"]
* [http://www.abovetopsecret.com/forum/thread918494/pg1 Young Abe Lincoln carved into Mount Rushmore, just under Lincoln's eyebrow! An urban legend is born!]
[[File:Sammy-mm.jpg|frame|'''MM & MLK's secret affair, an episode of SMYT, or hidden camera footage of adults in the fast lane.''']]
* [http://www.abovetopsecret.com/forum/thread740643/pg1 You likey global banking? Here's someone's idea of a history.]
* [http://www.abovetopsecret.com/forum/thread814934/pg1 Senators who led the 911 commission say "Not so fast!"]
* [http://www.abovetopsecret.com/forum/thread807082/pg1 A musical mystery, Pan is bored?]
* [http://www.abovetopsecret.com/forum/thread569934/pg1 Or maybe quantum mechanics rings your nut.]
* [http://www.abovetopsecret.com/forum/thread613643/pg1 Just what are those quantum gravity braided spacetime creations? You and me!]
* [http://www.abovetopsecret.com/forum/thread690063/pg1 It's about time.]
* [http://www.abovetopsecret.com/forum/thread542140/pg1 Mandelbrot 3-D fractals - pretty and trippy. Can't say that on ATS.]
* [http://www.abovetopsecret.com/forum/thread801970/pg1 What's a good conspiracy site without Marilyn Monroe.]
* [http://www.abovetopsecret.com/forum/thread472193/pg1 Or better yet, two of Marilyn Monroe.]
* [http://www.abovetopsecret.com/forum/thread683402/pg1 Damn! Did you hear somebody shot JFK?]
* [http://www.abovetopsecret.com/forum/thread757023/pg1 WTF? Then someone shot RFK too? Damn you OJ!]
* [http://www.abovetopsecret.com/forum/thread695975/pg1 Lee Harvey Oswald? No, can't recall the name. Wait, didn't he invent crackerjack back in the '60s?]
* [http://www.abovetopsecret.com/forum/thread479324/pg1 All quirky fun lists need a UFO link, this one to Brentwood.]
* [http://www.abovetopsecret.com/forum/thread822773/pg1 Or lots and lots of UFO links, to their best "look to the skies!" pages.]
* [http://www.abovetopsecret.com/forum/thread821958/pg1 Ancient civilizations constructed, occupied, then subleased.]
* [http://www.abovetopsecret.com/forum/thread503696/pg1 Maybe you like more ancient civilizations? Got a million of them.]
* [http://www.abovetopsecret.com/forum/thread714554/pg1 One more ancient civiliza'n, with links to previous pages in this long series (at the bottom of first post). Dig 'em up.]
* [http://www.abovetopsecret.com/forum/thread791628/pg1 Are you on the Graphene bandwagon yet? A new world awaits'''...'''!]
* [http://www.abovetopsecret.com/forum/thread672665/pg1 The monster Japanese post-quake nuclear emergency thread, 1245 pages and counting.] [[Godzilla|Godzilla anyone?]]
* [http://www.abovetopsecret.com/forum/thread428074/pg1 Holographic universe? I'm reaching my hand into you right now!!!]
* [http://www.abovetopsecret.com/forum/thread568569/pg1 Some more holographico spacetime stuff, but just purty too.]
* [http://www.abovetopsecret.com/forum/thread826444/pg1 I am the Emperor of Japan! No, it is I, the Emperor of Japan!! Wait, no, me, me, the Emperor...]
* [http://www.abovetopsecret.com/forum/thread825848/pg1 Problems with Monsanto GMO-corn? Who'd have thunk it?]
* [http://www.abovetopsecret.com/forum/thread648201/pg1 Philadephia's City Hall, topped off by William Penn's penis? Say "Penn's penis" ten times real fast.]
* [http://www.abovetopsecret.com/forum/thread830742/pg1 Vitamin C, it cures everything, man! Give it to the kids at halloween.]
* [http://www.abovetopsecret.com/forum/thread823094/pg1 The Great Pyramid, pi, and the meter. Strange bedfellows indeed.]
* [http://www.abovetopsecret.com/forum/thread820614/pg1 Plants we all know.]
* [http://www.abovetopsecret.com/forum/thread825972/pg1 Floatin' like a butterfly, stingin' like a bee - in sloooowww motion.]
* [http://www.abovetopsecret.com/forum/thread814942/pg1 Massive structures at the center of our galaxy? I'm moving.]
* [http://www.abovetopsecret.com/forum/thread813559/pg1 When Stratfor's facist e-mails surfaced, only these kooks publicized them. What a bunch of kooks.]
* [http://www.abovetopsecret.com/forum/thread564758/pg1 Conspiracy nut talks about Roma, and the geeks and peeps gather around like hawks in a mice storm for 400 pages.]

{{Moot}}

<center><div class="boilerplate metadata" width=100%>
{| CELLPADDING=5 CELLSPACING=5 style="color: #FFFFFF; background-color: #000000; border: solid 1px #777777"
| This entire page is [[James Bevel|<span style="color:yellow;text-decoration:underline">Top Secret</span>]], please [[Fluffy Bunny World|<span style="color:yellow;text-decoration:underline">avert your eyes</span>]]. Whoops, too late.
|}</div></center>
{{FA|date=17 April 2012|revision=5480662}}

[[Category:Conspiracies]]
[[Category:Conspirators]]
[[Category:Conspirators in the Grand Conspiracy]]
[[Category:Top Secret]]
[[Category:Websites]]
[[Category:New World Order]]
[[Category:FA Internet]]