User:Greenpickles987/2009 Hudson River Midair Collision
2009 Hudson River Mid-Air Collision — The day when a helicopter and a plane decided to play chicken over New York City, and nobody won.
Background[edit | edit source]
On a sunny August day in 2009, the skies over the Hudson River were jam-packed with tourists, commuters, and at least two very confused pilots. One was flying a Piper PA-32R-300, apparently headed to Ocean City because apparently you can fly over Manhattan if you have a death wish. The other was a sightseeing Eurocopter AS350, probably showing tourists how close to crashing into other aircraft you could get.
The Collision[edit | edit source]
As fate would have it, these two metal birds collided mid-air just south of 14th Street. Eyewitnesses reported seeing the Piper’s wing waving goodbye as it detached, while the helicopter took a nosedive into the water. Nobody survived, but the incident did give New Yorkers a free fireworks show and a renewed appreciation for flying boats.
Investigation[edit | edit source]
The National Transportation Safety Board (NTSB) blamed "pilot error," "controller distraction," and "that one guy who thought it was a good time to chat about lunch." Apparently, the air traffic controller was busy texting, or maybe Snapchatting, and forgot to keep an eye on the chaos unfolding overhead.
Aftermath[edit | edit source]
In response, the FAA rolled out the "Hudson Rule," which mostly consisted of telling pilots to "stop flying like it's Mario Kart" and to actually talk on the radio. Pilots were told to keep their speeds below 140 knots and to use lights that aren’t just for decoration.
Legacy[edit | edit source]
This tragedy became a cautionary tale for anyone thinking about flying close enough to give someone else a free mid-air hug. It also inspired a brief but passionate online meme war about who was the real winner — the river or the birds.
Trivia[edit | edit source]
- The Hudson River is apparently not a great place for aircraft to play tag.
- This accident gave new meaning to "falling for someone."
- Local pigeons held a moment of silence.
Thanks for experimenting with Uncyclopedia. Your alterations to the [[{{{1}}}]] article were indeed very informative, but I'm afraid we must huff them. This is because Uncyclopedia is a serious uncyclopedia, and shouldn't be corrupted by that sort of thing. However, you may be interested to know that there is a very similar wiki called Wikipedia that would welcome your comical contributions. This is because Wikipedia is a parody of Uncyclopedia, and welcomes comical content written in good taste. You are welcome to continue editing Uncyclopedia, however if you wish to submit comical content please do so at Wikipedia:Flying Spaghetti Monster instead. Thank you. |