User:Under user/autotalk.js

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// <pre><nowiki>

function replaceTalk() {
    alinks = document.getElementsByTagName('a');
    for(i = 0; i < alinks.length; i++) {
        prevsib = alinks[i].previousSibling;
        if(prevsib == null)
            continue;
        while(prevsib.nodeType != 1) {
            prevsib = prevsib.previousSibling;
            if(prevsib == null) {
                prevsib = alinks[i].previousSibling;
                break;
            }
        }
        if(alinks[i].getAttribute('class') != 'new' || alinks[i].innerHTML != 'Talk' || prevsib.getAttribute('title').indexOf('User:') != 0)
            continue;
        alinks[i].setAttribute('href', alinks[i].getAttribute('href') + '&autoWelcome=true');
        alinks[i].setAttribute('class', 'limegreen');
    }
}
function doAutoWelcome() {
    carryon = queryString('autoWelcome');
    if(carryon == null)
        return;
    if(document.getElementById('wpTextbox1').value != '') {
        alert('looks like someone beat you to it');
        return;
    }
    document.getElementById('wpTextbox1').value = '{{subst:User:Under user/welcome}} -- ~~~';
    document.getElementById('wpSummary').value = 'Welcome to Uncyclopedia!';
    document.getElementById('editform').submit();
}   
function autoTalkLoad() {
    replaceTalk();
    doAutoWelcome();
}
function queryString(p) {
	var re = RegExp('[&?]' + p + '=([^&]*)');
  
	var matches;
  
	if (matches = re.exec(document.location)) {
		try { 
			return decodeURI(matches[1]);
		} catch (e) {
		}
	}
  
	return null;
};
if(mybrowser.search(/MSIE/i) != -1 || mybrowser.search(/Safari/i) != -1)
{
    addOnLoadHook(autoTalkLoad);
} else if(mybrowser.search(/Firefox/i) == -1) {
    document.addEventListener('load', autoTalkLoad, false);
} else {
    document.addEventListener('DOMContentLoaded', autoTalkLoad, false);
}
//</nowiki></pre>