Uncyclopedia:Pee Review/Zombie Abe Lincoln
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Zombie Abe Lincoln[edit source]
| Humour: | 2 | I'm sorry, but there's funny random and there's random just for random's sake. It seems you've just thrown in different aspects for random's sake (specifically the Star Wars reference to the battle between Obi-Won and Darth Vader). If you want to do something with a Zombie Abe Lincoln, you need to have a solid backstory and idea, THEN insert randomness that would fit into the idea. The approach you take just doesn't take off and isn't attention-grabbing from the start. |
| Concept: | 4 | Perhaps see the series on Emperors of the United States as a starting point as to expanding this idea. The concept you have is different, but the lack of ideas and cohesive humor hurt it. |
| Prose and formatting: | 4 | It really can be hard to read. I'm not sure what else to say here, though my comment in the misc. category could give you some idea. |
| Images: | 0 | This article needs pictures badly. If you have some sort of photo-altering system (photoshop, Paint, etc.), then you could doctor a pic of Abe Lincoln or Robert E. Lee to fit in with the article. It adds to the attraction of the article and, with the right picture and caption, makes it a whole lot funnier. |
| Miscellaneous: | 5 | The article looks like a map of the United States on election night. Get rid of the red links. Also, I'd lose the links in the section titles. |
| Final Score: | 15 | This article needs a lot of work in all honesty. It's one thing to get a different idea like this and another to turn that idea into a great article. I would recommend reading a bunch of the featured articles on this site (or articles dealing more with what you want to write about) to get a better understanding of what is required. Once you've studied those articles, come back to this and see what you would like to do or if you'd rather start from scratch on another idea. Also, next time you write an article, either wait until you're all the way finished or remove the construction tag before submitting for Pee Review. |
| Reviewer: | --Mr.Vib 12:41, 3 June 2007 (UTC) | |