UnNews:Uncyclopedia Declares Thirty-Second War on Wikipedia
4 August 2008
Uncyclopedia Towers, Wangtopia: In a recent turn of events, Uncyclopedia has declared a thirty-second war on the godless bastards at Wikipedia. Many Uncyclopedians are surprised at this notion, but if the Wilde man says it, you do it. Oscar Wilde had one thing to say: "WAR! UNLEASH THE DOGS OF WAR!" And "Wait, aren't I dead?". Jimbo was not available for comment, but this recent turn of events has shocked and awed most of us, besides the godless traitors. (You know who you are.) This will not bode well for Uncyclopedia's stock, with the downturns and the stupid wars going on. One user had something to say. "With all the wars going on now and in the past, shouldn't we just stop, and deal with our lives, not some stupid flame war?" Sadly, though, the user was shot and beaten. To arm yourselves for the upcoming war, Uncyclopedia will be having a rubber chicken distribution, at around tomorrow, or whenever the Wilde man feels like it.
Distribution of arms, Fuck Yous, Deletions, and Viruses to kill Anti-Spam bots are to be handed out tomorrow, when Oscar Wilde decides it. Another user is quoted to say: "I've always adored these wars, I've found them entertaining, and useful." "It adds style and grace to the average citizen, and with so many wars I and my fellow flame warriors have fought, it feels just right to enter one when it would be the perfect time to use a war as another distraction."
As usual, France surrendered.
|This article features first-hand journalism by an UnNews correspondent.|