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Today's Free Sample! WASHINGTON D.C. -- Horror was brought to NASA's headquarters as the north star, also known as Polaris, had suddenly vanished this night. Outcry has spread across the world, as compasses are exploding everywhere, as their only source of direction has unexpectedly disappeared. The subspecies of human known as "flat earthers" claim this as a victory against the globists, although their statements are complete and utter bullshit. Now, for our non-space fans here, fucking shoot yourself. Why would you read an article about the North Star disappearing... if you don't know about it? But for the majority of you non-space fans who haven't shot themselves, the description of what the north star is... well, in the name. It's a star aligned perfectly north. If we get rid of it... NO MORE NORTH! ... anyways ... (Full article...) Recently featured: Mario Kart Presidential Wrestling Classic HowTo:Eat an orange UnNews:A dingo ate my baby Archive · Vote for featured articles · You can vote for your favorite articles to be featured when you become an EXCLUSIVE MEMBER. More of the best of Uncyclopedia edit More can be yours! Join today! November 13: Quack Like a Duck Day 7573 BC - Hermes and Aphrodite have a lovely bouncing boy, Hermaphroditus. 832 - Saint Anselm is permabanned from the Vatican for setting fire to the Pope. 1972 - Mediocre Britain votes on whether to join the Europe Community, turnout low, result 6-4. 1978 - While starring in an open-air production of Shakespeare's Henry V, Sir John Gielgud is carried off by a hunting kingfisher. He is found unharmed some hours later, having tricked the bird into incubating his egg-like head. 1990 - The first webcomic is launched, entitled Two Sarcastic Badgers and Some Clipart. 2007 - The Gummy Bear™ album gets released in stores much to the exhilaration of a quarter of Earth's population. Archived Anniversaries	edit For exclusive news coverage, get UnNews PLUS! "BOMBOCLAAAAAT!" Syrian National Museum gets robbed of six to seven Roman statues Cloudy windy Hurricane Melissa hits da Jamaica, mon! (Pictured) United Kingdom sends Royal Airforce “specialists” to Belgium to fight Russian drones “invading” airports A new candidate enters the upcoming 2028 presidential race US government shitdown inundates over 1000 flights with shit Democrats finally cave and end the shitdown New York City goes full Commie, elects Zohran Mamdani as mayor Los Angeles Dodgers win World Series with lucky bullshit, become the Kansas City Chiefs of baseball Dingo eats a woman's baby Interview: A Brief Chat About Uncyclopedia with Uncyclopedian and Lucky star. Indy police: former NFL quarterback Mark Sanchez literally butt-fumbles in real life Trump receives COVID vaccine despite supporters making their entire personalities being against it for years The US government shits itself Starmer unveils new digital ID cards to help further monitor citizens' pornography intake BoJo and Co. politely ask Nigel Farage to stop lifting children Omaha man's order of salmon sliders indistinguishable from salmon burgers Charlie Kirk gets l+ratio'd during a speech in Utah Sheeranism officially legalised in Yankeeland Ongoing: The wait for GTA VI, Stranger Things 5 and Spaceballs 2 • Russia-Ukraine "peace talks" • ICE/Antifa clashes • Trump and Elon's couples therapy • Jerry Jones screwing the Dallas Cowboys • Pregnant moms taking Tylenol to give their babies "autism powers" • The Andrew Formerly Known as Prince • Republicans and rich people fleeing NYC Recent deaths: YouTube player's old design • the guitarist and a security guard from KISS • June Lockhart • Nick Mangold • Jamaica, at the hands of Hurricane Melissa • Toronto Blue Jays' World Series dreams • Donna Godchaux • Diane Ladd • Dick Cheney • U.S. Government shutdown (finally!) • Tatsuya Nakadai • Sally Kirkland Upcoming deaths: Eurovision Song Contest • DEI • Iran's nuclear program • Diddy's bank account • MSNBC • Donald Trump • Aforementioned Tylenol moms • Mark Butt-fumble's career • Coral reefs • The economy of Capitalism in NYC • Bills Mafia's livers and kidneys after losing horribly to the Miami Dolphins • Weed More Current Events at UnNews News edit Did you know... That you can get Did You Know in your email if you SUBSCRIBE TODAY! ... that on 17 June 2007, Britain was mercilessly hit by an attack of 'falling water'? Read More
edit Recent articles! Exclusive access for PLUS members ONLY! Why is book? Halloween Ends Stranger Things (rw) G.I. Jane G.I. Jane 2 UnTunes:Santa Baby This is not an Article, it's a Sandwich Fairytale UnTunes:Shoes Uncyclopedia:Business (rw) Halloween Kills UnTunes:Perry the Platypus Elon's Musk UnGames:Ultimate Fishing (rw) UnTunes:Rio Herodotus (rw) Brawny Lawnmower-Humvee (rw) Steve Wozniak (rw) Narrative (rw) Bryan Adams High School Alex Trebek Lincoln Logs Brexit Where Is Everybody? UnTunes:Animal (with actual animals) Avi Toledano Eli Roth Film (remake) African American Worst 100 Reflections on 2018 Ray Charles Bernardo Butterlucci Urban Dictionary More recent articles
Exclusive PLUS member of the Month!!! Holy cock! We may have forgotten to update these over these last few months. The days we missed could be counted as few as if at all. We have just updated this since last May. How awesome! So basically, let's get to business. Take off your pants; IFYMB! wins Writer of the Month for September 2014. His hit singles include the frankly libellous UnNews:Nude photos of celebrities leaked, the almost-topical UnDebate:What does the fox say? and the spiritually upliftingUnNews:Thursday is a dirty whore. Let us all clap for him because I said so. Do not pull your pants up just yet. We got a Uncyclopedian of the Month award winner up in here! Give it up for Leverage! Since there is no winner for the Noob of the Moment, you are all now noobs. There are a couple of long-running nominations, but they are stuck there, like foetuses in suspended animation, and I fear for their souls. Vote for Writer of the Month | Vote for Noob of the Moment | Vote for Uncyclopedian of the Month | Past Winners

This Uncyclopedia, started in 2005, currently contains 40,971 articles. Uncyclopedias are being written in many languages, including Plus:!:

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Pagecount statistics listed above were updated on November 1, 2016.

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