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UnGames:Pick Up the Phone Booth and Aisle/xme

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Well, you can examine yourself- I don't imagine anyone else would want to:

Sad, wheezing and lonely, you are the paragon of late middle-age, with the bulge of your stomach- which seems only yesterday to have been a washboard- spilling over the edges of your trousers like the top of a muffin, and the pallid shine of your bald, bald scalp peeking through your pathetic comb-over, mocking your own sense of social and physical impotence. Your broken-veined face is ruddy and glistening with sweat from the exertion of just walking a few feet, and your weak little lungs puff away, reminding you of everything you've let yourself become incapable of. Looking back on the pointless, monotonous years in which you have merely gone through the motions of living- never enjoying yourself and barely even feeling sad, being so numbed by a life of disappointment- you know that in a world so bleak and bare of emotion for little, bitter people like you there is no reason for going on, and that breathing has merely become a habit. Your promise as a person is spent, and you've done nothing worthwhile with your life. The likelihood is that no-one will come to your funeral, but if that weren't so you wouldn't be at this point. Without even crying, not even with some sort of grim resolve, you empty the bottle of paracetamol you've just bought into your mouth, sit on the floor, and wait as the light fades forever. No-one even tries to stop you. A final twinge of regret grips you in the last moment, but not for this last act- rather for a whole life misspent.

You feel so powerful after picking up that mysterious phone booth and the bottom of the aisle with it. The woman loves you now, your wallet is suddenly filled with cash, and your acne has cleared up forever!

That's right:

*** You have won ***








































Oh no! It turns out that was just some aliens playing a trick on you from their flying saucer!

Whilst your rosy sense of achievement has distracted you, they have taken the opportunity to quickly suck out your gastric juices with a telescopic bendy straw! In other words, you just lost The Game.

Late Thursday night. You've had a hard day and the last thing you need is this: shopping. Luckily, the place is pretty empty and you're progressing rapidly.

On to the next aisle.

The aisle stretches to the north, and back to the south. The shelves on either side of you block your view of the rest of the supermarket, with only the brightly colored aisle markers visible.

You have stopped your trolley next to the pasta section, bright plastic bags full of pale skin-tone shapes.

There is a brunette woman a few meters ahead, filling her trolley with sauces.

A shiny metal phone booth sits in the center of the aisle.


Your move:

*Secret option!
Super-secret option!
Double super-secret option!

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