User:Third of trees
In 1980 during the month of December, Weezerel the sacred plunger, looked upon the face of the earth in search of a mighty prophet who would spread his message of nachos, brass instruments, and ramen noodles. Finding noone worthy upon all the earth, he decided to take human form in order to spawn his own prophet, in whom he could trust to carry his message. Unfortunately, during Weezerel's transubstantiation into human form, a fierce volley of solar flares were igniting on the sun, causing Weezerel to appear as a jive talking robot. Fortunately, though unable to spawn by himself, Weezerel managed to bring two people together to create Third_of_Trees, and thus, 9 months later, began the Golden Age of Yellow Grease Food Group.
Early Childhood and Teenage Years[edit | edit source]
The Rez[edit | edit source]
Third_of_Trees spent his early years living in a doublewide trailer on an Osage Reservation. Yes, he was always drunk.
High-School[edit | edit source]
During his High-School days, Third_of_Trees began the trenchcoat fad, but became very upset at the Trenchcoat Mafia for misuse of the long coats. After much prayer and planning, Third_of_Trees and fellow heretic _Why formed the Duster Brigade to counter the Trenchcoat Mafia's evil plans.
Love Life[edit | edit source]
Though coveted by many, Third_of_Trees is eternally bonded to Starsforher. They were brought together by the cosmic forces of Yahoo Personals.
Superpowers[edit | edit source]
It is beleived by some that Third_of_Trees can manipulate space-time, control warp feilds, and play Grand Theft Auto flawlessly while incredibly drunk, thus disproving myths about drunk driving. It is beleived that these powers were given to him by Weezerel.
Current Whereabouts and Activities[edit | edit source]
Third_of_Trees lives somewhere in Oklahoma City, banished to Oklahoma by the late Kennith Hagen, or the Quehagen, the High Preist of Hagenistic Fundamentalism, and sworn enemy of Weezerel. He is in an industrial-ska band with Bruce Willis.