User:Kippy/Norf Zog
What is their angle?
The question that alludes me, keeps me awake every night. Well, that and the neighbors in the apartment next door humping like beasts at all ungodly hours of the night. They leave very little to the imagination of the angles they use. My God, I wish I had a woman.
Encircling a star whose name has left me - I think it rhymes with Schmepler 22 - there exists a world habitable of supporting life, though you wouldn't assume so judging solely on its visible environment.
They are the Norf Zogguarians. I prefer to call them 'zoggers' because it sounds racist. A species of a universally simple lifestyle, yet one that through complex evolution that exceeds our own in wit, might and culture, albeit not so far that we as separate species could not mutually relate to one another on equal footing.
Solid liquid seems to he evaporated entirely from the world. There only remains a steam that covers the surface, creating a large celestial suana. Zoggers have evolved to breathe the steam, making them as quasi-aquatic as they are humanoid.
Perhaps the one thing disturbing about their biology, yet no less fascination, is how zoggers are born. A female zogger has breasts just as primates on Earth. However, they do not store milk for nurishment. Rather, a zogger knocker serves as the womb from which larvae are formed, in what astrobiologists refer to as "hive tits". Here little baby zoggers grow until they are ready to exit the nipples upon officially birth, or phrased more dramatically, burst from their mama's tits.
With such an incredible species, why am I so bitter? What is it about the inhabitants of Norf Zog that rub me the wrong way?
They don't care.
When we at CERN finally discovered that we weren't alone in the universe, I was but a young starry-eyed lad.
How about the other side? Did they reciprocate this incredibly fascination? How did they respond to discovering a new lifeform in the universe? With a resounding, "Eh."
They could not give two numb pickles about us as a species, our biology, our history and evolution or any way we could enrich their own lives.
It isn't as if we could return the apathy. We humans are inherently curious creatures. We can no more ignore them as I can avoid my neighbors. As I type this I can hear Agnes's head banging against the other side of my bedroom wall, and I'm wondering how this woman hasn't suffered from a concussion or severe brain damage. I can no more ignore this than we as a species can ignore the zoggers.
No, these fog huffers - you know what? From here on I'm referring to them as 'foggers' - these goddamn foggers could not give less of a shit about us.
Perhaps this is a subtle military strategy? They could easily be faking apathy to put us off guard.
If they invaded us tomorrow, enslaved or murdered us and stole our planet, I would prefer it to the status quo, because at least that would show the find value in us.
Let no one question that I hate these beings with every once of my own. If for no reason because the feeling is not mutual, I fucking hate the foggers.