User:Kingkitty/I Pissed On A Hobo And I Liked It
I woke up last night to see that I did something very wrong. This was never the way I planned my night out you see? It definitely wasn't my intention at all. I just got so brave from all the random cocaine and vodka shots that I lost my discretion. Trust me this totally was not what I'm used to. I'm sorry but during the whole raging drug spasm I felt like it was necessary to find a hobo on the street and make that person feel even more inferior than they already do. Okay I'm just going to admit it, I pissed on a hobo and I liked it.
You Pissed On A Hobo And You Liked It?![edit | edit source]
Yes I pissed on a hobo and I liked it. Having to chase the hobo down the alley while I wrangled my urine spewing penis towards his direction felt like a great accomplishment at the time. So yeah, I pissed on a hobo just to try it. I just hope my girlfriend doesn't mind that I pissed on a hobo. Sometimes the whole situation felt so wrong. But most of the time it felt so right. It don't mean I was a pervert last night. That's further from the truth. I accidentally pissed on a hobo and consequentially liked it. It could have happen to any average Joe. So what if I liked it immensely.
Did You Know Anything About This Hobo You Enjoyed Pissing On?[edit | edit source]
No I didn't even know the hobo's name. At the time I didn't really think it mattered. Did I really want to know the name of the guy who I was going to piss on? No I didn't. I just unzipped my pants and let the juices flow. This might sound perverted but at the time I imagined him as my experimental game. Not the type of game you shoot and kill. But the type of game that you piss on. For me it was just human nature, pissing on this stranger. Pissing is normal for everyone. Everyone pisses, it's something we got to do. So what if I used this hobo as my private pee puddle instead of one of those corporate ripoff toilets. I know it's not what good people do and how I should have behaved but you got to believe me man! I was stoned out of my mind. My head got so confused. It made it impossible for me to obey my normal habits. I felt so free peeing on that hobo.
Can You Describe This Hobo You Pissed On?[edit | edit source]
It was dark man. I was drunker than usual. The only things I remembered before pissing on him was that he had rather soft skin. This certainly came as a surprise for me since I thought most hobos had rough, unshaven, acne ridden skin. But unbelievably this man had the softness of a baby's cheek. The same couldn't be said for his lips which turned out to be pretty drab. So I bought some lipstick from the local shop and gave him a dutiful makeover. I made him into a young Tina Turner. His lips were then scorching red hot. This made them very kissable. Out of my drunken, coke ridden hysteria, I kissed him, multiple times. But I didn't really enjoy it, he kept screaming and spitting in my face. This was when I realized, in my drunken rage, that giving him a Tina Turner makeover was not going to satisfy my needs. So like I said many times before, I pissed on the poor guy. After that he didn't really have any decipherable features. He kind of looked like a pee monster.
Would You Like To Take Your One Phone Call?[edit | edit source]
Wait I'm going to jail over this?! Okay, okay I know I pissed on a hobo. But I couldn't help it. I was drugged out of my skull. So what if I pissed on some hobo on the street. He probably forgot about the whole thing. He does have bigger problems to worry about. Like the fact he doesn't have a home and lacks proper beauty products to help excentuate his delicate skin. Typical police, never have the right priorities. No wonder people call you pigs and spit on your pointy hats! But whatever I'll take my phone call, pig.
“Hey babe, I'm in the police station. Well I peed on some stranger and they're all busting in my grill. Yeah I peed on a guy. Last night? Don't you remember? I told you I had to use the bathroom but never came back? Yeah well during that time I found some homeless guy and peed on his face. Babe?...Baby Cakes?...THE BITCH HUNG UP ON ME.”