User:Good Old Ted

Somebody has awarded you a cookie! Now go play in traffic.

A Noob (as at Feb 2010) and a Britisher, and Proud of being part of the most Wonderful Nation On The Lord's Green Earth.

History

I was born long, long ago in a town far, far away. My father was a relentlessly self-improving Court Officer from Strood with low grade narcolepsy and a penchant for engine oil. My mother was a fifteen year old French maid named Linda with webbed feet (a strange name, you will agree). My father would womanize, he would drink. He would make outrageous claims like he invented the sky or gearbox lubrication. Sometimes he would accuse wingnuts of being lazy. The sort of general malaise that only the genius possess and the insane lament. My childhood was typical. Summers in Whitstable, luge lessons. In the spring we'd make walruses. When I was insolent I was placed in a hessian sack and beaten with welding rods - pretty standard really. At the age of twelve I received my first scribe and my life since then has been what many would consider normal but I consider... inconsequential.

Occupation

I currently occupy France, Wales, Cumbria and Outer Mongolia.

Key Achievements

I consider my life to be a key achievement (i.e. I'm not yet dead, so that's got to be something).

My Articles

Summary of what I've done on here, or contributed to (note that it may be really quite minor contributions):

Blinkered worldview

Crumpet

Creationism