User:Dank Memes 21/Cancer

Cancer is an abomination that roams the damn Earth we inhabit and it is also a god damn fucking plaque we cannot ever cure. (We even tried Jesus, not even he could stop this bullshit.) This high level bull-shit is a method of making people want to shove cactus balls up their ass, blow their brains out with a herpes-infested musket, and want to shove a fully functional artillery shell up their ass until it explodes. The many varieties of cancer is endless so this article will be updated many times to add more info on the types of cancer.

In 1962, cancer was used to defeat the Japanese in the civil war, and in the war of AAAAAHHH. I will speak of these vomit inducing cancers, but not in this paragraph because your little bitch-ass didn't wright this shit! So go shove a dragon dildo in your ass, unlubricated. Don't want that, then shut the hell up an finish reading the article you god damn low velocity dumpster baby.

BEAK LION CANCER:

this is a Cancerous Beak lion, take note dumb-ass

BULLSHIT INFO:

Beak Lion Cancer (BLC) is a form of cancer that makes you fucking seizure to death or vomit uncontrollably, this is a type of cancer that is spreadable through other forms of cancer, which makes cancer as a whole is as deadly as it is, dumb-ass. So if you feel like convulsing because you watched a god damn furry on Tik-Tok, you probably have BLC now, and should watch your cringe intake, unless you wanna fucking die then go right ahead, you would give a new meaning to GOTTA BLAST. (Wanna learn more about these mother fuckers, known as beak lions, CLICK THE MOTHER FUCKING LINK YOU MOTHER FUCKING DUMBER ASS HEEEERRRREEEEE --------->Beak Lions<-------)

File:INSANITY.jpg

The man that made the cancer, and fought it all at once

THE FUCKING CURES:

In 1872, the only damn cure known for BLC is a low velocity anvil, Jewish toasters ,and a EXTRA THICCCC fire-farting-hippopotamus. The issue is that the ingredients were rare, because people wouldn't stop using the anvils and hippopotamuses as dildo's, thanks ya FACKIN RETARDS. Which lead to there being only one damn beaky option, which is to catapult the shity-ass beak lions to space for a Sun-Infused-Aneurysm reset. Then two more were found recently, but not in this paragraph, because fuck you.

JESUS K-BULLETS:

A new cure for our fellow beak lions is a Jesus hand made K-bullet, used in muskets to make boars shit in their own mouth.This was tested with Beak Lions in 1942 by a man names Von kick-your-ass-to-France Stroheim, it cured the Beak Lion Cancer, but Jesus K-Bullets are so hard to come by because you have to throw an ammo box into a volcano and wait for a light yellow pig to walk up to you, scream at a flower for 10 minuets, and shit the bullets into a pail, and if no pail, it wil forced it's ass on your mouth and will proceed.

THE DEAD POSSUMS:

David K. Possum has created a formula to shove into the ass of Beak Lions, to cure their Zombie-ass-syndrome. Soon after he tested it by shoving Dead Possums through the ears of the Beak Lions, being a cure to the cancer. The formula for Dead Possums is a dead possum, David's sperm, his shit, added with school internet, and green shrapnel.

ITS HORRIBLE CREATION:

The Beak Lion Cancer was birthed from David's ass-hair, a table from the sun, and a Jewish oven from under-water.When combined alone made this magical cum-dumpster that made Bean-Burrito_tacos- on white bread. Then the vary man who made Dead Possums, David KILAZA Possum, added a new ingredient to create Beak Lion Cancer, it was the entire god damn furry community at the time. A quote from him why the entire community is "Because they are the very gay and it is terrifying, and i am done having nightmares, so I burnt them in my mixing pot.

SALAMANDER INFUSED CANCER:

Salamander that endured so much cancer, it had enough

MORE BULLSHIT INFO: Salamander Infused Cancer (SAL) is a salamander that has eaten an infect Beak Lion tail. The real question is how in the bloody hell do we know this? It is because we were drunk one night and had a Beak Lion with BLC and a salamander have deh sexeh teim. Our outcome was that the salamander ate the fucking tale of the god damn beak lion and received cancer. So now we have a fucking Salamander Infused Cancer and a Beak Lion Cancer, for fucks sake. The worst part is the "Infused" part. You have to digest a salamander with god damn cancer to get this shit. WHO EATS SALAMANDERS?!?!

SALAMANDERING REACTIONS: The fellow salamanders were able do the weirdest shit because of cancer by enlarging themselves. Now we have salamanders stealing our women and impregnating them. We are losing to salamanders in children born, thanks Andrew ya dick. Their reaction are different from species, the different ones goes as follows.

1. It turns into a Manatee and shits on peoples cars, houses, and even targets the mouth.
2. LITERALLY SHIT BRICKS
3. Transforms into Hitler and kills only the purple elephants
4. Goes to your house and delivers a flaming pissed off wombat at your doorstep and leaves
5. THEAFTING YOUR GOD DAMN INCOME TAX REFUND
6. Throw glass bottles at people who look like Stalin
7. Hacking your phone, loading it with shit, fucking blowing it up until the goddamn walls of your house fall down, and taking a piss on your charred corpse.
8. crawl up a fellow salamanders asshole and shit constantly, leading the the salamander to inflate until combustion, and him find a new host
9. MAKE A DIS TRACK OF EMINEM
10. take a plank of wood from the titanic, hunt you down, and replace your left arm with it.

We guarantee it does more than just that, so if you see a salamander, run, it might have a cancer or worse........why are you still here? MOVE TO THE NEXT PARAGRAPH DAMN IT

JEWISH MERCHANTS: Jewish Merchants (JM) is a formula code for the mixture of Russian soil, Hitler's sperm, the LGBTQ+ communities' flag, and a photograph of a jew giving Hitler the succy succ. when you take JM and inject it into a salamander, it will, and i confirm, sell you jew-ash-cigars and jew-shit-chewing-tobacco. If you decline it's offer for whatever reason, it will jump on your face, and force it's entire stock into your mouth, then crawl through your ass, and begin to constantly shit itself until it fucking kills itself from it's own hairy-ass shit.

SUB-CATEGORIES OF CANCER:

(the result of any cancerous content within 10 meters of a sane human being, which is rare)

IF YOU DON'T WANT CANCER, LISTEN UP FUCKERS THIS IS IMPORTANT!!!

THE START OF THIS SHIT:

If you aren't a fucking idiot that believes Lady Gaga is your god damn wife, you know that cancer can infect other people and cause mass amounts of pain. We know so much, and yet so little about this damned nation. In total, 90% of the USA's population has

TIK-TOK:

File:Logo TikTok.svg

The home to all sub-cancer species

To kick everything off, Tik-Tok is a platform where all the cancerous abominations reside and exchange acts. Most of it is lip syncing to a song, but it could be as bad as a dominant or submissive partner or even to the intensity of my first listed item. Now we enter, the sub-categories of cancer, that reside in Tik-Tok, so fuck off my paragraph you metal purple basket of donkey shit.

FURRIES:

This Furry will come to your house, shit in your air vents, and make your house smell like fecal matter

Furries are humans that think they are part animal for some god damn reason, and start acting like animals, dressing as animals, and even behave as animals. the action of a furry can go as follows

• Shit or piss in their own mouths
• devour people whole (Vore)
• Do Tik-Toks to show off their furry costume
• Either be Sexually submissive or dominant (no middle ground)
• Make everyone believe that they are oppressed About 80-90% of the community is intertwined with the LQBTQ+ community. With most being gay or bisexual, and some cases being pansexual. It is rare to find a Straight furry, but usually they are submissive partners to an alpha-furry. THEY WILL DO WHATEVER IT TAKES FOR YOU TO JOIN THE CULT, EVEN BY FORCE. IF YOU ARE ATTACKED BY A FURRY, CALL THE POLICE! IF YOU DO NOT DO SO, YOU WILL BE ASSIMILATED INTO THE CULT OR KILLED!

FACEBOOK MINION MEMES:

A minion meme posted by Facebook moms

Usually posted by Facebook mothers trying to stay "HIP" by creating memes with minion where the picture doesn't pertain to the text. The text could be the following...

• GOD SENT YOU TO KILL ME (to the right)
• Heil the Reich, Jews ain't right
• If they have animal hair, send them to the electric chair
• One time i had a dog, i shot it
• I love cats, they go good for my bear food
• I'm not like other girls, i have an extraordinary personality
• If you want a whore, buy one, you want a queen, earn her.
• I WANT YOU TO FUCK ME JERRY GOD DAMN IT

These are some of the following phrases in minion memes where the minion is stand either smiling, not giving a damn, looking like a woman, making a funny face, and more. The background is usually a bland and emotionless color with no detail or purpose to the image.These memes are usually atrocious, do not go searching for them, the image is the one with the weakest cancer, so you will do fine as long as you don't search for these damned minion memes if you want to have a healthy mental state.

Ethan Casity

File:DA BOI.jpg

He kicked a pregnant jew into a pond of highly non-intellect purple herpes-infested blob fish.

GOD OF CANCER

This little fucker has done so much crack he has become it, but replace crack with cancer. His very existence made Hitler kill himself and gave japan their suicide bombers. HELL, just looking at this menacing picture makes me want to take the bricks i already shit out and use them as weapons against the furry community...scratch that David already set them on fire, castrated them, molest them with his huge-ass iron ass, no meat ass katana, well FUCK YOU, AND THANK YOU. Continuing on with this shit. I witness him summon some purple-ass ghostly ass demon and beat the ever living shit out of his enemies. He isn't as powerful as he is today, all he could do several years ago is scream and turn men gay. His arsenal can very on situation, i will list the shit he has encountered, and for some fucking reason won, because FUCKING LOGIC!!

• HE BITCH-SLAPPED JESUS INTO THE 16TH DIMENSION
• 9/11 was him playing with toys
• He was the atomic bomb dropped on Japan
• Going against GOD HIMSELF, he grabbed his meaty ass, ripped all flesh in one pull, and had it for dinner (REASON WHY HE IS GOD OF CANCER, HE KILLED GOD AND MADE CANCER YOU STUPID SHIT!)

For recreational activities, he loves to scream like a deranged Holocaust victim, revive Hitler for him to endure a bat being anally penetrated with barbed wire, leading Hitler to anally bleed to death. I bet your dumb motha-fuckin lookin ass thinks that's all this failed abortion could do. You would be insulting the abortion clinic and their purpose, ya fucking dick wad.

His god damn presence makes all forms of cancer fear him, you think David had the power, he had to actually fucking kill them all. unlike David, Ethan's bear fucking existence is making every god damn shitty ass chunky ass cancer defecate themselves, vomit uncontrollably, and have hourly aneurysms until death. It is told that this faggot ass, wanna-be-emo lookin ass, caused Japan to create their "high tier art" If your so god damn autistic that you can't figure this out on your own you low velocity cancerous breeding faggot ass smelling E-boy, HE MADE JAPAN CREATE HENTAI.

FROM FAGGOTRY BEGINNINGS

His god damn rebirth in 3/1/03, the reason of rebirth is because his dumb bubblegum lookin ass has...

• assassinated Winston Churchill with a low velocity purple pig with rabies
• beat the shit out of Joseph Stalin for delivering a burning yellow elephant in his yard
• sunk the Titanic with nothing but soft taco shells made from deer shit
• rode a beak lion into battle using nothing but David's Katana (let's say David was pissed to see his sword been robbed but happy to see it back with furry/gay blood on it)
• killed Hitler by using mostly salamanders and two burning green squid.
• SHOVED A FULL SIZED DOG INTO DONALD TRUMPS BELLY BUTTON
• inflated George Washington until he exploded
• used a mini-gun in a fucking duel
• rode a horse into China and shit on everyone's food.

There is no way to explain all the things this bitchy ass r/niceguy has achieved in his existence, there is so much bullshit that you would receive 50 doses of Mesothelioma 25 doses of Type 2 diabetes, and a good healthy does of HEPA-HERPA-FUCK-YOU-ARUS, now that we god all of the fucking sissies out of my god damn article, let's go even deeper into what this man can achieve and has achieved. No, we are so not done, no where close to done.

ALL OF WW2

His Jewish ass, unicorn ass, Hitler ass musket using submarine desired to make the second world war his god damn fun house so because he exists then, he has caused...

• all of France to have god damn seizures in the middle of the war

• HIPPO GRENADES
• problematic political machine guns, fires propaganda against your views
• Hitler to do the Nae Nae on the enemies capital, and take a furious shit on the capitol.
• donkey's to run into Japan with the case of hot ass diarrhea
• Great Britain to crash their bombers into a random Tiger tank, while shitting
• Japan to receive scoliosis infested bread along with jizzing in their noodles
• anorexia to become contagious in China by using Jew-Ash-Made-Cigars
• The battle of Normandy involve flying Hodgkin lymphoma nodular sclerosis infested Squids to orally penetrate their enemies (ink included)
• Jews to be infested with Jaundice and turn to cannibalism
• War Veterans to receive Alzheimer's for no god damn mother fucking reason.
• CRISPY JEWS
• Hitlers death and he default danced on his corpse

OUTSIDE OF WAR

His big hunky ass didn't stop at god damn war time, he continued his bullshit cancer reign even after the fucking wars. Hell, he was the one that fucking killed Franz Ferdinand, but it was with a table with barbed wire on in being orally shoved meretriciously into Franz's fucking throat. The other bullshit this man has achieve in the time period between world war one and world war two is astonishingly mind blowing, i would rather have a cactus leave its thorns in my fucking eyes than continue this shit, but yet i have a job to do to warn everyone about this god damn cancer god. So, he has...

• Sunk a boat only using hyperventilating Jesus Christs
• trolled the Germans by sending a package of beak lion shit, a bag of raccoon piss, and a star shaped package of Horse Vomit
• Screamed like a fucking maniac at chickens and devours them whole.
• DEFAULT DANCED ON A DEAD N*black person*R
• Manipulated all of France to walk into Germany, take a shit on the border, and leave
• Told America to go fuck themselves and gave them the great big sad.
• convinced a beak lion to self destruct in the USSR
• forced 30% of Poland to join the cult against the evil and deceiving beak lions
• dropped a giant ass BeanBurritoTaco on Japan, all of Europe, and the United States.

After world war two his reign of terror intensified beyond horrors. At this point he will make the name God of Cancer, and actual thing not talking about the fucking disease.

(1955-1960)

• Nae nae'd Hitler for 20 hours
• used his magic ass keyboard to Ctrl+Alt+Delete+Logoff Joseph Stalin so he could feed his personal beak lion
• Dropped a bomb full of Deer Shit on Paris France, and the next day used his SUPER LASER PISS on the whole of France,
• Pissed on Winston Churchill's wife for hitting him with a paper airplane saying "You have aids, lol"
• SET VIETNAM ON FIRE
• Castrated a gay jew at a bar for groping his no no square
• GAVE A MAN SALAMANDER AIDS
• Used a low velocity squid launcher to liberate Africa
• CHALLENGE PISSING
• will only sell used condoms

(1960-1980)

• Threw a car at a building, which the result the car catapulting off the building and molested every fucking vehicle on the golden gate bridge
• CREATED HORSE COCK STD'S
• won a NASCAR race driving sideways and rotating to the right at exactly 12.32 miles an hour constantly
• HE PISSED ON THE FUCKING MOON
• Convinced Steve Jobs to play with his food and to call the company his favorite fruit.
• Went on Mars so he could put a fucking burrito on it
• Kicked a Satellite out of orbit and gave them the option of only cannibalism to survive before returning into orbit

(1980-2000)

• Had Muslim Goth Chick run into the streets on shit on peoples vehicles
• Gave Ronald Reagan a birthday present of the on the go version of CHALLENGE PISSING
• used his magic keyboard to Ctrl+Alt+Delete+shutdown John F. Kennedy, and wasn't punished for it, but had a beak lion maul his face.
• Went to Vietnam and lure them out with RED ROBBINS......Yummmmm *BANG!*

The end of his cancerous reign

On thee way with a plane to drop 20 gallons of Bullfrog piss, another plane saw the giant sized sack of piss, and yelled ALLAH AKBAR, and crashed the plane into the sack of piss. Then leading to the plane wrapping itself around the back and Ethan piloting the other plane, both planes went boom boom. Welp, now all he does is casual trolling shit, nothing too bizarre, it's not like he is going to posses a stand the can stop time.....or....nah, impossib- *ZA WARUDO*

MR. EZEL (SATAN SPAWN)

EEEEEEEEEEEEEECCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

Oh sweet fucking Christ what do we have here? Looks like God took a extra chunky shit, and got drunk, and made his terrorist looking ass out of his own doodie. God apparently got so drunk that he forgot to finish his eyebrows before he passed out from drinking. What made him so fucking drunk to do that kind of fuckery you might be asking? Well, just only Jesus Christs's piss after freezing it and having it for desert, that's all. His name shouldn't even fucking be Ezel, it should be Fagzel for how much gay energy he exerts on a fucking daily basis. I don't fucking know why, but he has this special place to work at that is literal fucking god damn named "The Jewish Closet of Capitalist Purchases"! If that doesn't scream I am a gay, then apparently you all are fucking gay as well, because only a gay would defend a gay from gay tendencies. It doesn't fucking matter if your piss poor little feeling think that I'm being a "meanie",your faggot ass can take the closest piece of wood, and give your asshole some nice juicy splinters, then get some rust nails and do the same you god damn monkey inflated green communist hippo.

Is he Hitler?

Is this mother fucker Hitler? To that question I say he is Hitler, and i have no god damn mother fucking evidence to back that bullshit up, but god damn it i will make it up so damn well you will be saying hello mother fucking Jewish ass Hitler when he is doing his next ritual. Matter of fact my fucking lazy ass will make so many fucking points why his fucking ass is a reincarnated version of god damn jew ash food preparing Hitler. PREPARE YOUR ANUS FOR FACT RAPE!

The bedroom

The bedroom sounds like the place where he would have decided to raped a Jew to your tiny maggot mind, but I as an intellectual know that's not where he rapes Jews, it's in the basement you fucking dumpling, THE BASEMENT! Inside his glorious bedroom is riddled with naked picture of Joseph Stalin, which there are also hate messages wanting him to burn in fucking hell and be mauled by a fucking honey badger with rabies. Inside his glorious bedroom is riddled with naked picture of Joseph Stalin and Benito Mussolini,  which there are also hate messages wanting them to burn in fucking hell and be mauled by a fucking honey badger with rabies, no shit. There are even diary entries that we wished they all could have a threesome in Auschwitz. Among all this horny gay shit, he also has a monkey that loves to thrust it's dick upon the head it is on. Under the bed, there is a latch that you would think would lead to the basement right? Wrong, god damn your fucking dumb, IT LEADS TO THE SECOND BEDROOM YOU AUTISTIC SHIT!