User:Blat
DUMP THE SMACKER[edit | edit source]
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INTERMISSION-THIS ARTICLE IS BORING!
The Free Imperial Republic of Stoner High School | |||
|---|---|---|---|
| |||
| Anthem: "Dudes of Stoner" | |||
| Capital | Student Union Building (SUB) | ||
| Official language(s) | English | ||
| Government | |||
| ‑ Head of State/Government | Her Majesty Queen Tiffany IV, Class of 2011 | ||
| Declaration of Independence | October 5th, 1980 | ||
| Currency | Extra Credit Point (EC#) | ||
| Religion | Georgianism and Alcoholism | ||
| Official substance | Kittens | ||
| GDP per capita | 14.3 million extra credit points ($1,986,111 USD) | ||
| Average GPA | 4.0 | ||
| Average BAC | 0.09 [1] | ||
| Average SAT | 2320 (new), 1337 (old) | ||
| Official animal | Palestinian Rat | ||
| Official vegetable | Cabbage | ||
| Official mineral | Petroleum | ||
| Official number | 420 | ||
“By far, de greatest schule in this great Schtate of Kuhllifornia.”
“At Stoner High School, students expel YOU!”
“DUDE! The drum solo from "In the Air Tonight" is FUCKING EPIC!”
Stoner High School (also known as "SHS", "Stoner High", "The ProcrastiNation", "The Stoner Imperium", or simply "Stoner") is an independent wholly student-pwned and operated high school in Fockersville, California. From a dark, tortured past, Stoner High School has emerged to become a shining beacon of hope, justice, and unrivaled fun for oppressed students worldwide. As feared by the educational bureaucracy as it is loved by that bureaucracy's victims, the school epitomizes the absolute perfection of the secondary school system in pretty much every way.[3] It is one of the largest and most successful high schools in the nation, thanks to its unique form of governance, libertarian economic and social policies, fearsome military and damn good beer. SHS's astoundingly high endowments of human and natural capital have also allowed it to project global military, economic and political power at a level befitting its de facto status as a modern industrial nation-state.[4] Further information is available via the links below.
References[edit | edit source]
- ↑ Though it appears low, this average reflects the BAC of all students at all times. Since it is an unfortunate reality that nearly all students are sober for at least several hours a day (particularly while unable to consume more alcohol as a result of being asleep), it must be considered that average BAC among awake students is higher than this figure, and BAC among students not in class is still higher. The distribution is decidedly skewed to the extreme ends of the spectrum, with the standard deviation of the BAC being approximately 0.69.
- ↑ For more quotes, please visit the quotes section.
- ↑ Focker, et al. (2006) A History of Stoner High School.
- ↑ CIA World Factbook, 2008 (classified edition).
We now return to our regularly scheduled jokes, already in progress....below: