User:BeeblebroxAntennaHead/Article about stuff
 | This page is a work in progress |
--BeeblebroxAntennaHead 20:13, April 27, 2010 (UTC)
McDonalds owns this page. Some claim that the Cuban revolution was a part of a people's movement to be treated humanely politically. In actuality, the Cuban revolution was a push for full-flavored burgers at a decent price.
- Ernesto "Cheese" Gueverra (Affectionately known as "Cheese" because of his catch-phrase "WITH CHEESE!") was born June 14, 1928 in Argentina. He is most well-known for his revolutionary activities in Cuba-the push to bring about "the end to tasteless burgers and overpriced snacks".
- Che's parents, Burger Douglass and French Fries Francine, were well known (please step up to the) counter-intelligence operators working on the part of the U.S Department of Defense to end the spread of "over-priced burgers with an under-priced taste" (CIA101b.804). On March 21st, 1939, Douglass and Francine were gunned down in the streets of Argentina by the aristocracy who had their greasy fingers in big-burgers pocket. The two, however, had already instilled the Mountain Dew-induced excitement for great burgers at a resonable price within their son Cheese. It was only a question of time as to when young Cheese would grow up to become "Big Mac" he was always meant to be.
- As a youth, he became friends with with young Fidel "Fidel-O-Fish" Castro at a local teen meat-and-eat. The two became kindred spirits after they both complained at how bland the over-priced burgers were. They learned to love as they learned to grub. The two began creating their own burgers from recipes that were smuggled in by a McDonald's counter-operative. The two never knew the man's real name, and only referred to him as "The Hamburgler".
The Hamburglar Years[edit | edit source]
In the tale of Cheese and Fidel, as with any other epic saga, the line between fact and fiction has become rather blurred through the years. Some say that the two fell in with the Hamburglar during The Great Pickle Fiasco of 1947. Others claim that the Hamburglar had been watching young Fidel all along, leaving him bits of sandwiches and chicken nuggets on the counter when he wasn't looking. But what is known is this -- for 8 months, the Hamburglar trained Fidel and Cheese, along with a group of insurgents, in guerilla warfare and military snacktics.
On November 25, 1956, the group of insurgents, along with their leader Major Burglar, launched for Cuba aboard Banana-Sundae boats in what was known as the 26 Fruit N' Yogurt Parfaits Movement. The group was attacked shortly after they landed in Cuba by the "No-Meata" forces (So called due to the notoriously small patties used in Cuba at the time). Their group was dispersed in the foothills of Cuba and soon regrouped to prepare a new plan of asnack.
Many decided that if the way to a man's heart was through his stomach, then the opposite must be true - the way to a man's stomach was through his mind. Others saw that this was illogical, but decided not to speak up cuz they knew that their hearts were in the right place (in their stomachs?). The group took to painting popular slogans on the walls of the No-Meata Parliament. These slogans would include "Big Macs for Small Fries" (as part of their youth movement) and "Cubans for Newman's Own® Low Fat Balsamic Vinaigrette". They would write their slogans in English cuz they all decided Spanish was a real weird language.
- After several years of experimenting with burgers and condiments, the two became incensed at their lack of freedom. They had to continue to eat subversively in a hut they developed deep in the woods. The two would share their visions of what the world could be like if there was not the tyranny-of-the-meatless. Eventually they would take a fleet of 26 banana-sundae boats into Cuba in what would become known as the 26 Fruit N' Yogurt Parfaits Movement.