Uncyclopedia Watch
Uncyclopedia Watch, also known as UnWatch, is a highly controversial organization of people who claim they have been victims of defamation on Uncyclopedia, an Internet encyclopedia widely known for its factual accuracy.
Common allegations on UnWatch include suggestions of financial impropriety involving ninja pirates, financial irregularities, IRC, horror and all manner of confusing ideas. These notions are of course ridiculously unfounded.
Not all members are publicly known. This is probably because they are afraid articles about them will appear on Wikipedia, a tasteless parody of Uncyclopedia, which is known to lampoon people who have been involved in a controversy regarding their biography on Uncyclopedia.
The most notable public non-member of Unwatch is the English poet Oscar Wilde. Some believe this is because all information presented about Wilde on Uncyclopedia is in fact accurate, while others believe this is because he is in fact dead, and therefore not able to join the organization. However, Uncyclopedia's highly accurate article on Oscar Wilde does not contain any information about his death, which proves this last suggestion wrong.
Concerns about Uncyclopedia[edit | edit source]
UnWatch fearlessly casts a critical eye over anything anybody connected with Uncyclopedia does or fails to do: for deleting stuff, for failing to delete stuff, for taking action in a dictatorial manner without allowing debate, for engaging in too much time-wasting debate instead of useful action, for being too fascistic, for being too anarchistic, for being too highbrow, too lowbrow, too middlebrow, too left-wing, too right-wing, too pro-American, too anti-American, too academic, too anti-academic, too pop-cultural, too anti-pop-cultural; for airing too much dirty laundry in public, for trying to shove its flaws under the carpet; because it's an unstoppable juggernaut, because it's an unstable mess that's about to collapse; it's capitalist, it's communist; Chronarion screws it up by exercising his personal whims, Chronarion is a do-nothing figurehead who refuses to act at all; critics get harassed, critics get ignored; people get banned unfairly, people don't get banned who deserve it; its mailing lists and IRC rooms have nothing but idle, pointless, off-topic chitchat; its mailing lists and IRC rooms are where all the important policy decisions get made to the exclusion of people who participate on the actual Uncyclopedia discussion pages. You can trust in UnWatch!
How Uncyclopedia Watch is written[edit | edit source]
Uncyclopedia Watch has a five-level peer-reviewed critical process, in order to absolutely assure the quality of the criticism present on the site and make it a sufficiently Reliable Source for Andrew Orlowski.
- Vicious and hurtful nerds who mistake themselves for "comedy" writers send sickening screeds out onto the Internet. These are read by the victims of Uncyclopedia's policy on biographies of living people, who get very upset!
- Nerds who aren't good enough writers to be vicious and hurtful try to imitate the ones in step 1 and hang out on IRC because that way they think they're cool and stuff, and maybe they'll chat up Keitei before she reveals herself to be a 40yo FBI agent.
- Chronarion secretly controls the vicious and hurtful nerds by bribing them with the fortune he made as a trader in human soul options while presenting himself to the world as a pleasant and charming fellow. The bastard.
- Chronarion tells his pack of flying monkeys on IRC to write ever more brutal articles about his hapless victims.
- You have mail.
UnWatch is sponsored by the potato industry, who are afraid Uncyclopedia's logo gives potatoes a bad name.