Uncyclopedia:Featured articles/November 2

Death usually waits patiently just around the corner, peeking out from over the horizon like a maiden opening the door a crack to evaluate and savor her betrothed. But, as you well know by now from watching the news and talking to your more knowledgeable friends, December 2012 is swiftly approaching, and what the wise old hippie song predicts is, alas, undoubtedly true: "Whoppee! We're all gonna die!".

So before the Earth turns sideways on its axis, the birds finally revolt and give everyone flu, and that pesky asteroid slams into your neighborhood while the Sun sprays sun dust all over the place, the best thing for you to do is to learn how to go into the light. It's as easy as learning a new dance step, without the fuss of people stepping on your toes or looking down your dress. . (Full article...)