UnScripts:The tragedy of the man who slipped on the ice

The tragedy of the man who slipped on the ice is part of

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Some information before the play

The Tragedy of the Man who Slipped on the Ice, stylized in all caps, is a self-proclaimed comedical tragedy historical drama play by William "Shakey Baby" Shakespeare in 1601 about a man who slips on ice and subsequently has an existential crisis about it. It was written in a drunken rage and is considered the greatest of all of Shakey Baby's plays.

This guy wrote it

The script

This script was salvaged from Willy's basement several years after his death.

ACT 1

A GUY SLIPS ON ICE. HE THEN RECOUNTS HIS EXPERIENCE. HE GETS SNOWBOOTS.

ACT 2

THE MAN WHO SLIPPED ON THE ICE CONTEMPLATES SLIPPING ON ICE. OBLIGATORY EXISTENTIAL Soliloquy PURSUES.

ACT 3

THE MAN WHO SLIPPED ON THE ICE DEMOSTRATES THE MONSTROSITY OF THE ICE TO HIS FRIENDS WHOM RECREATES. HE ACCIDENTALLY BREAKS HIS SPINE.

ACT 4

THE MAN WHO LSIPPED ON THE ICE CONTEMPLATES EXISTENCE AND DENOUNCES THE ICE; HE GETS A 100,000 DOLLAR MEDICAL BILL AND IS FORCED TO DIE.

EPILOGUE

THE MAN WHO SLIPPEDO N THE ICE RECOUNTS HIS STORY TO HAMLET.

RECEPTION

Because of its thrilling plot and "to melt ice?" soliloquy, this is considered Shakespeare's magnum opus. It is also the most confusing allegorically, of Shakespeare's plays. Some people think that the Ice represents death and the inevitability of it, or giant medical bills being an eternal phenomenon. The two most popular theories: Shakespeare wanted Ice to represent death, (he being an Englishman, this makes sense) and the other one is that Shakespeare wanted ice to represent the eternal enemy of Irish people: thick ice that, if stomped on, will result in slipping. Another debate: why does Jim Morrison on the cover of the album "L.A. Women" look like Kurt Russel? Who knows. This is the most mysterious of Shakespeare's works, and also the shortest. It comes in at around 200 pages (the "To Melt Ice" monologue takes around 166 pages) and is just under 15000 (again, the "To Melt Ice?" monologue takes around 14300 words), considerably shorter than both Your dick and his other works. He is said to have written this, high on drugs, inhaling tobacco pipe smoke too hard, and extraordinarily drunk, over one night and made subsequent revisions well into the following afternoon. He probably started working on it after simultaneously smoking, drinking, and taking drugs. Most of the play was scribbled like a child, and thus he was forced to write the second draft, of which the plot above follows.

It is tragically the most obscure of his works. It was only discovered about five years after he died in 1611, 1616, and it was published in 1710. It has never been considered apart of the Shakespeare canon until the early-mid-late-later-latest-far-late-20th century.

Some controversy remains as to whether or not this was actually written by Shakespeare (or his pen name when he wrote this, Shappsper). The unusually modern english (Consider The Man's line, "Alas, it appeareth that I hath accidentally plunked on the ice"). Other people who might've wrote this might have been: J.R.R. Tolkien, Gene Wolfe, Oscar Wilde, Sir Francis Drake, Edward de Bono. In order to get above 15000 words, Shakespeare made himself a rule to make a dialogue word no more than five words per sentence. Shakespeare broke this rule with the aforementioned line, the oen where he accidentally plunked on the ice and appears to like run on sentences.

In 2010, a brave man in Dublin was inspired to reenact the obscurely famously obscure play. He risked a broken back and slipped on the ice, saying the iconic line "I have accidentally plunked on this Ice," not "Oh, shit," despite what some devils may lead you to believe.

Now, Here's a Special Preview of the Play

                                                         THE MAN
                                                   I am the MAN, and I happen to be
                                                   on some Ice.

                                      THE MAN SLIPS.
                                                         THE MAN
                                                   Cursed be this Ice! I hath accidentally
                                                   slipped on it! Alas, it appeareth I
                                                   hath accidentally
                                                   plunked on this Ice!
                                      THE MAN GETS UP. HE LEAVES THE ICE.

                                                          ICE
                                                   Next time the Man encountereth
                                                   me, I shall curse him to a spine
                                                   much broken, thrall be in his favor!

That's all your getting due to us risking getting sued by the Shakespeare Estate, but the To Melt Ice monologue is damn fantastic

Pay 12.99$ for a special edition! Featuring the original draft as approved by Paid-Editor-Guy! Deluxe edition 25.99$ Deluxe Fantastic Special Edition 37.99$!

But that's not all! This will be the first in ten works to involve the Man Who Slipped on the Ice

The Man will return in The Tragedy of the Man Who Slipped on the Ice Two: The Man's Revenge on the Medical Bills and the Subsequent Slaughter of the King's Court for Revenge, therein establishing a Crisis of Royal Power!