Don't Worry Darling is part of
The UnScripts Project
Your personal Shakspearian folio of humor, love, woe and other silly emotions
In an idyllic futuristic town called VICTORY, Alice and Jack seemingly live an idyllic life. Alice and her girlboss friends go out every day to work for this secret company, also called VICTORY while Jack and his fellow gentlemen stay behind to tend to their homes and feed the kids and all.
Jack
Isn't this the life!
Bunny
It sure is! The girls run this world, and we do our best to support them! Aren't we just wonderful examples of healthy masculinity?
Sheldon
Heck yes! We're among the good ones! We deserve to be loved!
Cheery '50s music plays as the men go about their idyllic routine. Eventually their wives come home, and the men cook them dinner and prepare their beds. Their only desire, of course, is to ensure their girlboss wives get a good night's sleep, not to have sex with said wives unless explicitly asked to, by the wives, and only by the wives, because doing otherwise would be entitled.
INT. BEDROOM.
JACK watches his wife sleep peacefully. He took good care of her, and didn't touch her even once, because she never explicitly consented to it.
Jack
Ah, this is the life! I love you tremendously, Alice! I'm so proud of being one of the good men you can rely on and feel safe around!
As Jack falls asleep, he experiences an unsettling nightmare
Voice
Jesus, you're such a spineless knob! If you wanted something, you should've just told me! Miss me with your self-sacrificial BS! Just man up and be honest!
Jack wakes up in a cold sweat, terrified. His wife, Alice, looks on him with concern.
Alice
What's wrong, Jack?
Jack
It's nothing, Alice. I'm sorry, I'll go upstairs.
Alice
Jack, you can tell me. I'm consenting to you opening up to me.
Jack
No, Alice, I can handle this myself.
Suddenly, Alice flips out and screams.
Alice
BULLSHIT! That's what you ALWAYS say, and then you spend all day moping around in your bedroom and whining about how nobody loves you! And you're always so passive-aggressive about it, going on about how "it's the laws of nature that make women emotionally unavailable" or that "maybe it's the punishment you deserve for mankind's history of misogyny" all while feeling sorry for yourself! And don't tell me that you don't intend for me to read your whiny messages, my friends are in those Discord groups and you know it! And if I have to hear ONE MORE TIME about how you hate yourself and "maybe should just die" again...
Alice punches and starts choking him.
Alice
Maybe I'll just kill you right now!
Alice chokes the life out of Jack, her face contorted with rage and hatred. Jack helplessly flounders as he runs out of breath, when suddenly-
It's daytime, and they're at a breakfast table. Jack has no idea how he got here.
Alice
Is everything okay, honey?
Jack
Yeah, I just...had this headache. It's nothing.
Alice
Jack, it's okay, you can tell me.
Just as she reaches out to him, he slaps her hand away.
Jack
Don't worry, darling.
OOOH TITLE DROP TITLE DROP!
INT. OFFICE.
Jack's headaches are intensifying as he waits outside the counsellor's office. He continues to hallucinate Alice's anguished, frustrated voice.
Alice
I mean, there's no getting through to him! Sure, I won't say yes to
everything, but that doesn't mean I want him to become a doormat! He has such a martyr complex!
Other voice
Well, maybe you should just leave him.
Alice
(in tears)
I want to help him, I really do! I still remember the man I fell in love with! Is there truly no way to find him again?
Other Voice
Maybe the best way to help him, is to let him go...
Jack
No, don't leave me, I don't want to be alone!
Jack's hallucination is broken as he feels someone tapping on his shoulder.
Receptionist
Doctor Wilde will see you now.
Jack enters Doctor Wilde's office. Doctor Wilde looks up from her notebook and gazes at him with cold, judgmental eyes.
Doctor Wilde
So, Jack, you've been having more headaches lately?
Jack
Yes, Dr Wilde. I don't know what's wrong with me.
Doctor Wilde
Oh, you don't huh? What about your role in perpetuating rape culture, objectifying women, feeling entitled to sex-
Jack
I'm sorry, I was just a little too focused on the headaches, not the underlying issues of toxic masculinity.
Doctor Wilde
It's all connected, Jack. How many times do I have to repeat myself? Intersectionality. INTERSECTIONALITY.
She condescendingly snaps her fingers.
Doctor Wilde
Is it finally getting through to you? Intersectionality. INTERSECTIONALITY.
Jack
(robotically)
Yes. Intersectionality. Intersectionality.
Doctor Wilde
Good. Now, how long has it been since you saw
his stuff?
Jack
I promise doctor, I haven't seen any of Frank Peterson's videos since he went on that rant about trans people. That was completely indefensible, even if his other stuff-
He clams up, realizing his mistake.
Doctor Wilde
His other stuff? What about his other stuff?
Jack
I mean, I was always inspired when he talked about how I should clean my room, take responsibility for my life and live with purpose.
Doctor Wilde
Oh, so you're saying Elliot Page is a lunatic, and he should just go back to being Ellen Page, even if it drives him to suicide! And let me guess, you think women are ASKING FOR IT when they get raped too!
Jack
No, I never said that! I'd never agree with any of-
Doctor Wilde
INTERSECTIONALITY!
Jack curls up in a ball and begins mindlessly repeating the word.
Jack
Intersectionality. Intersectionality. Intersectionality. Intersectionality.
Doctor Wilde smiles evilly.
Doctor Wilde
Good. Remember, Jack. You're a straight cis white male. And that means...
Jack
I am the oppressor, it's in my nature to oppress.
Doctor Wilde
Yes, and that means...
Jack
I must never think for myself. I need you to think for me.
Doctor Olivia
Yes. And if I think for you...
Jack
You deserve to be compensated for it. I'm not entitled to unpaid emotional labor.
Doctor Olivia
Very good. That'll be $800. And a prescription. Please take your meds, Jack
Jack pays her $800 and takes the meds.
Doctor Wilde
No, not those meds! Those are actual antidepressants that'll boost your self-confidence. Here, take these
evil meds that further the stereotype of psychiatry being a shady and oppressive profession.
EXT. DESERT
Jack is wandering through the desert when he sees a biplane swerve and crash.
He rushes to the crash site, only to suddenly crash into an invisible building.
He reaches out and tries to feel his way around the building's contours, only to be assaulted by a sudden headache. He then has a vision.
INT. LAB.
Alice is facing off against Doctor Wilde.
Alice
You fucking bitch! You stole my husband from me!
Wilde
Your husband was a filthy misogynist who got what he deserved. You should be happy!
Alice
He was trying to be better! He looked up to you, and you used him!
Wilde
Are you truly that naive? People don't change, you know that! The only way to protect ourselves against men, is to subjugate them before they subjugate us!
Alice
He wasn't even employed, that's MY MONEY you're using!
Wilde
And it's all going to a good cause! You don't want to stop supporting good causes, do you? MWAHAHAHAHA!
Suddenly, the vision ends, and Jack finds himself back at his house. He sees Sheldon looking down on him from the roof of his bungalow.
Jack
Sheldon, what are you...?
Sheldon
You saw it too, didn't you? It's true Jack. It's all true! We've been enslaved, and I've been trying to escape for so long!
Sheldon steps over the edge.
Sheldon jumps off the roof, hitting the ground with a sickening crunch. His body is mangled, his head split open, there's blood everywhere...
Suddenly, Jack finds himself in a psychiatric hold, with a shady doctor trying to force the evil meds down his throat.
Shady Doctor
Now, now, Jack. You're having an episode. Please take these
evil meds to calm down. They're for your own good, you know. MWAHAHAHAHA!!!
Left with no choice, Jack swallows the evil meds and blacks out.
The next day, Jack wakes up as his wife prepares to leave for work again. He seems to have forgotten everything that just happened.
Alice
Goodbye, hon! Off to Victory I go!