U (Invisible)

“In Capitalist America, Country disappears 'U'”

~ Soviet Russia on U

“Where the fuck did I go?? Pronounce me you assholes!!”

~ U on U

U is a letter in the american alphabet, which has the ability to become invisible in some words. In American, the letter appears at least once in every word. Perhaps the most well known example is the word "Colour", which, when rendered in American, is written "Color". the u, while still present, and vital to the spelling, is entirely invisible. Another key example is the word commonly spelled "You", which in truth, is spelled (with all invisible U's shown):

                      UU     UU
                      UU     UU
                      UU     UU
                       UY   OU
                        UUUUU

When written on The Internets this spelling is often retained, with many grammarians using the character, "u", a more correct representation than the informal corruption, "You".

History

A long time ago in a galaxy far, far away, renowned Educator, Noah Webster decided to give each letter U the ability to become invisible. These letters became incredibly common within American Literature, eventually being integrated into every single word. Unfortunately, due to a sharp increase in the incedence of Independance shortly after the invisible Us introduction, the American people erroneously believed that the letter had actually been removed from a number of words.

Critical Reaction

American Writers at first liked the idea.

“Now we can pretend that we don't speak English, unlike all those oppressive English people”

~ That Washington Guy on U

But the British found it ridiculous

“This must be a joke! Oh wait, it's America, and no-one is being hit in the balls, nevermind”

~ Arthur Wellesey on American Humor

The trend of adding letters to words never caught on in Britain, content to simply keep the ones they had

Fallout (boy?) Over The Introduction

Disputes over this piece of misinformation eventually lead to the First-World War, between the United British Commonwealth and the rest of the world. Before long, the Second First-World War was fought, over whether Euroipods was funny or not.

The letter was also directly responsible for the Crossword Riots in 1888, in which an amateur journalist incorectly specified the lengths of words, neglecting to count the hidden letters. Crossword enthuasiasts were enraged and stormed the New York Times building. The offending journalsit was later eaten by a grue.

Words with more than one u*

N.B: These examples show all 'u's in their visible form.

• "GUUooUUgle" - Except in China, where it may as well be spelled This is meant to be blank, like those official booklets that have end papers saying "This page is blank"

 UU     UU
 UU     UU
 UU     UU
  UY   ou
   UUUUU

• Vacuuuuwuuuuuum - This word is often incorrectly spelled with two adjacent 'u's, completely missing the all important, and above all visible letter "w"