So Let’s Get One Thing Clear…

So let’s get one thing clear. I am VERY horny. I usually ejaculate about 24 times a day, one time for each hour. I really wish i could jack off more but unfortunately, i can’t jork my willy right after i already finished. I don’t know why but it feels unpleasent to jerk when there’s already sea men on your ding-dong. So one night i was jacking my hog, as usual, when suddenly my sister walked in my room and her towel fell off immediately. I saw her giant bouncing tits and her gigantic juicy ass. She then got on my bed and we started fucking. It was the greatest experience of my life! Sadly i can’t say these words on wikipedia but i don’t give a shizzle. Anyways, lets get back on track, shall we. So basically, i was in the bathroom taking a large dump in the toilet. When suddenly, i pooped so hard i came everywhere. I got very hard and horny. And i shat on the floor. There was a rush of thoughts going on in my cranium, and i decided to poop an entire mountain of poop. I carved it into the shape of my school crush and i stuck my giant throbbing willy in the chick-shaped poop doll. I never felt so good, and when after i came, i noticed that my penis kinda looked like a black man’s penis. A nigger’s penis. So i decided to walk to school the next day, with poop smeared all over me so i would look like a big black oily muscular alpha male, and i went straight into the girls bathroom. And there i saw my crush. I decided to go up to her and say "Hey babe, do you like my black nigga look?" I smelled bad, but i looked so hot she probably wouldn’t notice. She then said "Let’s do dirty stuff in the stall!" And after she gave me the best head of my life, she then yelled "EEEEWWWWW! I SUCKED A POOP-COVERED POOPSICLE PENIS!" That was the last straw for Principal McIntyre. So he sent me to detention and tourtured me in the basement. I went home, and my entire family, along with their big black friends, followed me to my bedroom while naked, and raped me to death. I had 8 willies in my butthole at the same time. And i died and now i’m at St. Peter’s gates, while God is roasting me for all the bad things i do daily. But let me tell you, this experience is actually fun! Since i’ve already did so many disgusting things He doesn’t even care about it, so basically he lets me do whatever i want. I love jerking off. I still do to this very day! But the bad thing is, there aren’t any toilets! Or toilet paper. So i usually jork in a sock under my bed. And don’t forget poop!I i poop in that same bucket and it smells like poop-seaman. I didn’t like it, so i decided to jump out of one of them cloud ground thingies. I decided to go back to school and in the middle of class, my school crush said to me "You’re a monster!" That’s why i’ve just decided to start chasing hot women around the city instead. Even thinking about it makes me want to paint my walls with white splatter. I went home and i decided to wipe my butt with the cats. I think my cat "Mittens” is the easiest to wipe with due to his skinnyness and fluffiness. Because of him i can easily swipe the cat across my butthole area like a credit card. That’s why i have a credit card in my butt, and also a bottle of shampoo i had to poop back out, or should i say, "Shampoo out!" Hahaha pun intended! Anyways let’s go back to what we were trying to say. I’m typing this in the street after my family found out i was still alive after they shoved willies up my rear end’s hole. I think my cardboard box in the street is nice! It is next to a beautiful can of trash. I also love forcing people to watch my jork my william. I do it for money. I have a sign up there that says "I’ll milk in yo mouth if you gimme dat munny!" In fact, i actually used to hate the eggbeater in my kitchen. People kept sending me photos of them licking eggbeaters, and some with white sea mans on it. That’s why i now live on the sidewalk, so everyone can see me do everything. Sometimes i even run around the town naked doing nasty with anybody that crosses my path. But there’s one flaw about living on the streets, i never get to see my crush at school! Jennerina McFlumbersnozzle! But it’s ok, now that i’ve found her personal info. Now i know she lives on 123 Sesame Street. Hey, i know that adress! That’s where i lost my virginity with Big Bird, Michael’s Stepdad, Old MacDonald, and about 12 more people. WHY DO WE KEEP GETTING OFF TRACK! anyways, i walked to my house and my crush knocked on my door. She said "I forgive you! Let’s do it in public!" So we went to the mall, and we fucked all night long. I came so hard it splashed out like a geyser, and it rocketed me backwards. It caused i giant tsunami and the entire state had to evacuate. The ones who didn’t got obliterated by the Sea Man Tsunami. i shat myself silly. After i shat, i thought, what if i mix my shit with cum? My friend Arnathan told me it was a recipe for "Love Juice" that can "Make anyone fall in love". I went to school next day with my brown-white sludge juice, and i shoved in down my school crush’s throat and all she said was "EEEWWWW! I DRANK POOPCUM!" And Principal McIntyre was so used to this he didn’t even give a single shizzly wizzly woo. I tried to make her drink more but she accidentally fell over and died. That was it. I got arrested but i killed all the cops with just a little bit of elbow grease. I ran a mile to the railway to catch a train to Goonville. This was the day. The day i could start a new. As i hopped on the train, i saw helicopters chasing me. I new just what to do. I decided to pull out my big long willy and start jorknin. I came so hard i rocketed into the helicopter and i saw it crash and everyone died. Then, i saw a plane come towards me. I new it was no harm but i shot a laser beam at it anyway. They crashed and died. And now i am heading to Goonville as we speak, so i can be treated like an actual human. I’ll give you updates. I am now in a cumhut, which is a hut for sexual activities. I am watching these hot ladies and it makes me jork so much! I never felt so good! It reminds me of back when I was about 13 I LOVED angry birds, I had every game and bought every toy they had. One day I was playing angry birds when all of a sudden the big red bird turned me on. I couldn’t stand it, I was going crazy. I decided to pull out my big long Willy and start jerking. I never had felt so good, I soon continued to do this daily and never got bored of it! That big red bird was so hot and those blue ones were some cuties. I am glad to admit I still do this to this very day. Anyways, lets go back to what we were saying, shall we. I soon came on the floor and the puddles were in the shapes of many things. My home, my happy, my life. and it made me realize, this is absolutely positively 100% completely NOT where i really have wanted to be. I want to be home. So i decided to walk miles and miles, thru the desert, to get back home. After i returned home all the people in town all cheered and welcomed me! My Crush, Principal McIntyre, My Family, Big Hot Oily Black Alpha Male Sigma Goats, and much, much more! They were all cheering "Booooooo!" That’s Norwegian for "We Love You" And i finally went home and went back to my good old goonin days. The End!