Postal 2

Released in the year 2003 by Running With Scissors Inc., Postal 2 is a game about a man attempting to please his nagging wife. The game takes place inside of a 5 day week (when playing the base game). The main game allows you to play in two ways: Pacifist or Psychopath. Many people never even attempt playing as a pacifist, as they feel bored by it.

The mechanics

What moron designed this? -The Dude on this stupid game being so complex

Postal 2 is crazy. Very crazy. Listed below are some reasons.

Consumables and their usage

• "Health" pipe - Instantly heal to 125 health, and activates the hidden "Addiction" meter. Only Heals 30 on ludicrous.
• Catnip - Slows down the game for around 25 seconds (I think). Can also be dropped on ground to lure cats.
• Money - Used for buying goods in game, including the shit donut.
• Donuts - Heals 3 health. Also used to lure cops. Can be peed on to stun cops when eaten.
• Pizza - Heals 5 health.
• Medkit - Heals 30 health.
• Cats - Use when firearm is equipped to use as a silencer. In enhanced mode, drop to create tornado.
• Dog Treats - Tame a dog. Can be eaten, but it only makes The Dude gag and cough.
• Gary Coleman Autobiography - Give to Krotchy to get a free Krotchy doll.
• Police Uniform - Kill civilians and not get punished!
• GIMP suit - Removes wanted meter when used out of sight.
• Crackola - Dual wield supported weapons (Machine gun, Pistol, Machine Pistol, Submachine gun, shotgun, Missile launcher, WMD)
• Shit Donut - Heals 1 health and makes The Dude gag and cough.
• Kevlar - Gives The Dude 100 armour.
• Power Infused Gary Coleman Autobiography - Summons 3 floating Gary Coleman heads and gives player temporary tool: Head Launcher. Player cannot take damage as long as the Gary Coleman heads are up. The head launcher launches explosive heads with Gary Coleman's face on them
• SiC Body armor - 125 armor.
• Gonorrhea Medicine - Cure thyself of gonorrhea (if you whipped out your dick to piss on Friday)

Enhanced Mode

Now THIS is epic! Enhanced Mode is basically "the guy she told you not to worry about" in video game form. It changes many things and makes them stupid.

Weapon Changes

• Assault Rifle - Right Click to shoot scissors.
• Shotgun - Right click for an explosive shot, usually against Vince on Monday.
• Machet, Scythe, and Sledgehammer - Once obtained, you can throw them infinitely, directly into The Bitch(es) face!
• Baton - High chance to disintegrate head of enemy.
• Shovel - More powerful. Also launches you backwards (M1 attack) and upwards (m2 attack), presumably so you can divebomb that STUPID FUCKING PREIST THAT KEEPS STEALING EVERYONES FUCKING MONEY.
• KnuckleDuzterz - Chance to decapitate someone.
• Box Launcher - Can now be obtained. cool.
• Scissors - When Running With Scissors^TM, Your running speed is tripled. (also faster attack)
• Dudes Dick - Right click to cycle through piss types. Napalm, Gas, Blood, Gonorrhea, Literal Vomit.

...and a lot more random bullshit!

World Changes

• More items everywhere
• Power Infused Gary Coleman Biography spawns. Find one on a chimney of a house near The Dude's RV.

thats it

Dude Changes

• No fire or fall damage
• Max ammo raised over 9000.
• Suicide detonates a nuke

and a lot more im too tired to list

The "Story" of the game

Postal 2 is based around the titular(ish) Postal Dude attempting to live a normal life while his stupid fucking wife sends him on stupid fucking errands that are usually normal. Below is a slightly abridged version of the story.

MONDAY

The dude wakes up in his RV drenched in sweat. The goddamn ac broke overnight, so he shoots it for ruining his comfort (boo-hoo). Blablabla, his wife, The Bitch, gives him a list of errands for the day. She also tell him, "Dont forget my rocky road!" He forgets it. Once he walks out, his dog, Champ, is peeing on his fucking foot. He kicks da damn dawg, brotha! The dog runs away. The Dudes car won't start, so he has to walk to work, at the RWS offices.

He starts walking to his work, but when he gets there, there are protesters all screaming the same thing, "GAMES ARE BAD, THEY MAKE YOU MAD!" Whatever. He walks into his bosses office to grab his paycheck. When he gets there, he gets his paycheck, but not before his boss has something to say. "Nothin personal man, but you're fired." This is bullshit, as he just started yesterday. Suddenly, the protesters break in! They try to kill everyone, but you left before they could notice you. Afterwards, he heads to the bank to cash his check. When he cashes it in, the bank gets robbed. Since the robbers are using pistols, you can easily just walk out. Afterwards, you head to the grocery store. Once you get in there, you buy your milk after grabbing it and get out. Head back to the Rv, and the day is done.