HowTo:Write A Essay
essays are 4 queers
Maybe U r illiterut. Maybe U have trubble spelling. Maybe U kant think to good. That ok, cuz this article goin to show U how to write a essay. It Ez too dew if U no whut U teecher want. Juss give them whut they want, & U will dew well (tri to spell all the wurds the same way), & capitalies the 1st letter of the 1st wurd of ea. sentence. That way, the teecher will no U tryed hard two do write.
Step 1: Brainstorm on thee Innernet[edit | edit source]
Ok, 1st, figure out sumthin to say. Here a tip. Use the innernet. Use a grafix browzer. Browze grafix & look 4 sum that be bout the same thin. That whut the teecher call brainstormin, cep she (y all english teechers cep gay men be wimmin?) dew it on the bored, in chalk or sumtimes them markers that never write (theyalwayz dryed out). 4 example, maybe U like chix in t shirts (if U a guy & U ain't queer, U will). Ok, that good, cuz they be a lot of them on the innernet. So, find sum. Actewelee, U will need 3. (I'll weight.)
Step 2: Devil Up a Theesis[edit | edit source]
Ok, U should have 3 pixchures of chix in t shirts. (I kant weight all day!) Y I say 3 shirts? Here y (secret): teechers, speshlee english teechers, like a theesis that have 3 "relative points."
(Allways ax yore teecher if U kin clude pixchures of the theeng U writin bout in yore essay, cuz, if she a dum shit, she maybe will say yes, & that take up space. If U kin, don't put the pixturez at the margin oar on a page at the end of the essay, no, put them in the paper itself, in the center, befor the body pargapbs. (Dam, I have two tell U everthin!)
So, now you got the 3 shirts, you kin write a theesis that got 3 "relative points." Here one:
- 3 t shirts chix ware too be funny is (1) I swallow, (2) I wish these were brains, & (3) KISS ME Before My Boyfriend Comes Back.
(Note: in my opinion, the chik wid the KISS ME Before My Boyfriend Comes Back shirt got the best rack, butt don't tell the teecher whut U think bout the gurlz' racks, cuz she most likely be pissed.)
That wazint to hard, huh? I tol U I wood make it EZ 4 U two write a essay, dint I? Ok.
Step 3: Right Write thee Body Paragrabs[edit | edit source]
Now, all U have 2 due is splain y the shirts is funny.
Body paragraph 1[edit | edit source]
Start wiff yore theesis, point 1:
- 1 t shirt chix ware
twototoo (watch yore spellin!) bee funny is I swallow. This shirt funny cuz alotta chix radder spit a guy's cum in a kleenex or let it dribble down her chin then swallow it, even tho she say she like it taste. So when she ware this t, she lyin & all the guyz no it, cuz if she reelee swallow, she don't have to ware it on her shirt. It like she advertizin herself, cep she reelee juss jokin, so, if U a guy, don't fall 4 it. Look 4 a gurl that don't have this on her shirt or, better yet, don't have know shirt.
Body paragraph 2[edit | edit source]
There! The 1st body paragrab done! See how ez it is? I tol U I wood make it ez 4 U two write a essay, dint I? Ok. Now, you do the same thin wid the 2nd body paragrab (they call body paragrabs cuz the 1st the head paragrab & the last be the ass end). Here wee go:
- Anudder t shirt chix ware too be funny is i wish these were brains. This shirt funny cuz it got gramma arrowz init. The dum bitch put "these" instead of "them" & a "s" on "brain," like she have more than 1 (wishful thinkin, cuz she a
blindblonde. Chix wiff big boobs allwayz want more brain, & a brainknee bitch allwayz want bigger tits. That whut this shirt sayin. Also, this shirt funny cuz a chik kant have a brain in her titties, no matter how big they bee. Only the head have a brain (less it a dickhead, ha ha). (Don't be fraid 2 use sum hoomer; teechers luv dat shit, think it "wittee.")
That it 4 the 2nd body paragrab. See how eZ it is? I tol U I wood make it ez 4 U two write a essay, dint I? Ok.
Body paragraph 3[edit | edit source]
Now, juss the 3rd body paragrab leff. So, here go:
- Anudder t shirt chix ware too be funny is KISS ME Before My Boyfriend Comes Back. This shirt funny cuz it show chix all sluts & hoes that will bee unfaithfull to they boyfriend soon as they get the chance. The gurl wearin this shirt juss be more honess than most chix, cuz most chix pretend they never even think bout sexin it up wid some other dude.
The lass paragrap a liddle short, so, if U kant think of nuthin else 2 write, maybe take a chance & talk bout the gurlz' racks after all (oar maybe save it 4 the conclooshun paragrab), butt rememmer, U takin a chance if U dew (it up 2 U), & the teecher migh git piss & give yore ass a F!
Step 4: Finishin Touches[edit | edit source]
Don't forget to write the beeginnin paragrap, call the intro, & the ass end paragrap, call the conclooshun paragrab that go in front & at the ass end of the 3 body paragrabs. I'm gonna let U do them yourself, cuz I allreedy show U how 2 write 3 paragrapbs, & I'm tired of this shit, &. beside, it yore essay, knot mine, & iff i show you how to write the hole dam thing, it plaggerizm.
U welcum 2 print & share this article with yore friends, if U have any, butt don't let yore teecher see it!
Oh, yeah! Don’t forgit 2 run a spell-chik!
NOTE: This article wood of bean funner if the pixchures of the t shirts hadden bean deleeted by wikedpedia's hoomerlez sensors, butt since they waz, I hadda put n thee "Sensored" pixchures nstead, so doan blame mee, blame dim!