GoDaddy is an Internet based web site that allows internet surfers anywhere in the world to search, record, register, pay for, and buy internet domain names that do not already belong to Bob Parsons. GoDaddy.com owns all names in the new world, and holds the copyright for common names such as Frank, Bryan, and Iain. All babies born after 2001 have to register their names at GoDaddy.com for $8.95 per year, or they run the risk of being eaten by Bob Parsons.
Initially only being a domain registrar, GoDaddy made a corporate strategy in 2003 of adding at least one product or service to its line up every single day, and their checkout process is now legendary in capitalist circles, taking over 9 hours to complete and offering the domain purchaser extra products including (but not limited to) web hosting, anti virus software, groceries, DVD rental, furniture restoration, emergency medicine, and birth contraception.
The front page of GoDaddy.com is a coveted position for top male photographic models to flaunt their talents to GoDaddy's mostly homosexual male customer base. It is rumoured that GoDaddy plans a hostile takeover of MySpace.com where it will require registration of faces by 2009 and is in private discussions with the Canadian government which plans to outsource it's patent, copyright and trademarking offices to GoDaddy.
History[edit | edit source]
It was revealed in 2005 that the dirty sodomite Bob Parsons, due to childhood issues, originally considered the names 'GayDaddies.com', 'HotDaddies.com' before deciding on the final more submissve and accepting 'GoDaddy'.
In 2005, Bob traumatised the world through a wardrobe malfunction which left his right breast exposed during the Super Bowl half-time show in what appears to be either a publicity stunt or an attempt to impress Justin Timberlake. CBS was fined a record $1.5 million by the FCC and the Fashion Police in the wake of this incident and subsequent broadcasts of the event have been moved to Fox - a network controlled by Mexican president Vicente Fox. While the publicity allowed an extra two domain names to be sold, seemingly nobody cares as both were in the spam-ridden and largely-worthless .biz and .info hierarchies.
To this day, GoDaddy still operates sites doing business under names such as "stopdaddy.com" and "godaddysucks.com" - all clear references to the troubled childhood issues of sexuality and abuse with which it has had to grapple helplessly while growing up as a developmentally-delayed domain name registrar in a bad part of town.
The company operates on the genius methodology that tits and ass in proper utilization make up for integrity and customer service any day of the week. Many Biblical scholars have identified Parsons as a possible candidtae for the mysterious "false prophet' of the apocalyptic writing of Revelations.