Essilor
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Essilor is an independent company which bought out Luxottica, only for Luxottica's own board of directors to stage a coup against their leadership and take control of the new company for themselves. The new company, EssilorLuxottica (it's really just Luxottica) gets to decide if you paid enough for the right to see clearly.
History[edit | edit source]
Essilor was founded by Essel Silor in 1912, though sadly he died on the RMS Titanic while pretending he was king of the world. His son, Lessel Silor, took over the company and turned it into a giant factory which enslaved Saudis to make glasses. This was the status quo for nearly 100 years.
Essilor leveraged the enslaved Saudis to Allah and offered Allah the saudis freedom in exchange for one trillion euros. Allah agreed and Essilor freed all dem Saudis. Lessel died around this time and another rank and file cheese-eating surrender monkey named Hubert Sagnières took over.
Essilor ultimately decided to use those trillion Euros to attempt to buy Luxottica, but given that Essilor wanted to enslave Italians the same way they enslaved the Saudis, the Italians got smart and coup'ed the entire new company! Now then Italians are free to do whatever they want! And the frenchies can't do ANYTHING about it!
Offerings[edit | edit source]
Products currently under the control of Luxottica[edit | edit source]
Overflow error
Products independently managed by Essilor[edit | edit source]
None
Criticism[edit | edit source]
What happened to Danny?[edit | edit source]
We have no idea who that person is. Someone has been diving into the so-called experts at Wikipedia's lore on buying the site a bit too much.