Anti-gravity

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Wow, Albert! Look what Antigravity did to YOU!

To understand Antigravity, you must first understand the concept of Anti and Gravity. To briefly explain, Anti is the opposite, unless of course you are talking about something that already has anti in front of the title, in which case it is Redundant, unless of course you mean the anti of anti, in which case it is not anti in the first place, which is also Redundant. Gravity is the concept of something really big having a massive hard on for smaller things and pulling them in, or vice versa, scientists are not really sure. Antigravity is believed to have originated in 6 billion B.C. right after gravity was created, because you can't have your Cake and eat it too. Catholics suggest God created Antigravity, but they also suggested the Crusade was a good idea, making them a non-viable source. Scientists agree that antigravity exists like the Catholics, but constantly disagree as to the source. Although scientists also believe that Evolution is true, also making their liability null and void. Currently at this point the most liable source is Einstein (although he was a scientist, scientists believe him to be more of the Optimus Prime of physics.) Although Einstein never directly wrote directly about being directly involved with Antigravity, we are pretty sure he came up with every mathematical theorem ever created since he was born.


Einstein stated this in his diary, after smoking a bowl in his lab with Thomas Edison.

Early Life[edit | edit source]

Antigravity was/is sort of the red headed bastard child (see Jews for the idea of a red-headed bastard child) of physics. Nobody really likes him, since it is physically impossible for gravity not to exist, unless you live in the Montana of the Universe (nobody likes Montana, again see Jews). Antigravity grew up without a father figure since God/Science pushed him aside, focusing on more important things, like the Bang Big, and the Society For The Dlysexic. Since Antigravity technically doesn't exist, it didn't have much of an Early Life.

Career[edit | edit source]

Originally Antigravity wanted to be a triple-threat actor/dancer/singer, but due to the whole Non-existence of antigravity, It had to group with the more mundane career of "Things being debated over that don't exist". Antigravity eventually became good friends with the other non-existence TB-DOT-DE's (as they shall be called from this point forward) like God, Reality TV, and A telemarketer that doesn't call when you are eating dinner. They eventually formed a boy band, did exceedingly well the first two years, went global, made millions more, fell apart, and five years got back together being less successful than their first few hits, but leeching enough money to cover their Mortgages.

Private Life[edit | edit source]

To Be Edited...