UnBooks:I am not crazy!
I AM NOT CRAZY!!!
I am not crazy...[edit | edit source]
I am not crazy! I know he swapped those numbers! I knew it was 1216. One after Magna Carta. As if I could ever make such a mistake. Never. Never! I just – I just couldn't prove it. He – he covered his tracks, he got that idiot at the copy shop to lie for him. You think this is something? You think this is bad? This? This chicanery? He's done worse. That billboard! Are you telling me that a man just happens to fall like that? No! He orchestrated it! Jimmy! He defecated through a sunroof! And I saved him! And I shouldn't have. I took him into my own firm! What was I thinking? He'll never change. He'll never change! Ever since he was 9, always the same! Couldn't keep his hands out of the cash drawer! But not our Jimmy! Couldn't be precious Jimmy! Stealing them blind! And he gets to be a lawyer!? What a sick joke! I should've stopped him when I had the chance! And you – you have to stop him! You-
Donald Trump Version[edit | edit source]
I am not crazy! I know he trolled the liberals! I knew it was his indictment. One after Joe Biden. As if I could ever make such a mistake. Never. Never! I just – I just couldn't prove it. He – he covered his tracks, he got that idiot at Congress to lie for him. You think this is something? You think this is bad? This? This chicanery? He's done worse. That January 6 riot! Are you telling me that people just happen to riot like that? No! He orchestrated it! Trump! He defecated through a skyscraper! And I voted for him! And I shouldn't have. I even chanted his phrases like Trump 2024! What was I thinking? He'll never change. He'll never change! Ever since he was 50, always the same! Couldn't keep his hands out of the cash drawer! But not our Trump! Couldn't be precious Trump! Stealing them blind! And he gets to be a president!? What a sick joke! I should've stopped him when I had the chance! And you – you have to stop him! You-
Patrick Bateman Version[edit | edit source]
I am not crazy! I know he killed those people! I knew it was Patrick Bateman. One after Paul Allen. As if I could ever make such a mistake. Never. Never! I just – I just couldn't prove it. He – he covered his tracks, he got that idiot lawyer to lie for him. You think this is something? You think this is bad? This? This chicanery? He's done worse. That murder! Are you telling me that a man just happens to die like that? No! He orchestrated it! Patrick! He killed Paul Allen with an axe! And I helped him! And I shouldn't have. I listened to Huey Lewis & The News with him! What was I thinking? He'll never change. He'll never change! Ever since he was 19, always the same! Couldn't keep his hands out of the cash drawer! But not our Patrick! Couldn't be precious Patrick! Stealing them blind! And he gets to be a investment banker!? What a sick joke! I should've stopped him when I had the chance! And you – you have to stop him! You-
Adrian Shephard Version[edit | edit source]
I am not crazy! I know he killed the Gene Worm! I knew it was Adrian. One after Gordon Freeman. As if I could ever make such a mistake. Never. Never! I just – I just couldn't prove it. He – he covered his tracks, he got those idiot marines to help him. You think this is something? You think this is bad? This? This chicanery? He's done worse. That Gene Worm! Are you telling me that a man just happens to kill something like that? No! He used cheats to kill it! Adrian! He tried to kill Gordon Freeman! And I saved him! And I shouldn't have. I waited for Valve to make a new game starring him! What was I thinking? He'll never change. He'll never change! Ever since he was 22, always the same! Couldn't keep his hands off government property! But not our Adrian! Couldn't be precious Adrian! Stealing them blind! And he gets to be a marine!? What a sick joke! I should've stopped him when I had the chance! And you – you have to stop him! You-
Queen Elizabeth II/Boris Johnson Version[edit | edit source]
I am not crazy! I know she didn't die! I knew she was 71. One after the Platinum Jubilee. As if I could ever make such a mistake. Never. Never! I just – I just couldn't prove it. She – she covered her tracks, she got that idiot Boris Johnson to lie for her. You think this is something? You think this is bad? This? This chicanery? She's done worse. That death announcement! Are you telling me that The Queen just happens to die like that? No! The government? They orchestrated it! Boris! He lied to the entire country! And I believed him! And I shouldn't have. What was I thinking? He'll never change. They'll never change! Ever since the government was run by the Tories, always the same! Couldn't keep their hands out of the state affairs! But not our Boris! Couldn't be precious Boris! Lying to them about Elizabeth's death! And he gets to be a prime minister!? What a sick joke! I should've stopped him when I had the chance! And you – you have to stop him! You-